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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22461505">Body Looking for Soul</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonyn/pseuds/Lonyn'>Lonyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Romance, F/M, Multiple Hawkes (Dragon Age), Multiple Pairings, Smut, vanilla sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22461505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonyn/pseuds/Lonyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon fleeing Lothering, Noa and Kahlan Hawke, along with their family happen upon Flemeth who helps them avoid certain death from the Darkspawn. Flemeth gives two pieces of an amulet to each of the elder Hawke sisters, and warns Noa that if she goes to Kirkwall that tragedy will befall her. With a disturbing revelation from their mother, and Flemeth's ill omen looming over her head, Noa leaves and eventually finds herself in Starkhaven where she befriends the Vael family as well as the young Templar Rylen. When that year passes, devastation brings her to rejoin her family in Kirkwall with a warning to Sebastian Vael, the sole heir to Starkhaven's throne.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Hawke/Rylen, Female Hawke/Sebastian Vael</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea is purely self-indulgence, and I don't care. Isn't that what 2020 is supposed to be about? I will have my Starkhaven fantasy times two, thank you very much ;) This idea came to me a while back when my amazing friend Badwolf626 and I decided that our Hawkes could most certainly be sisters and set in the same world (:  Kahlan Hawke belongs to her and romanced Anders, while Noa Hawke belongs to me and she romanced Sebastian Vael. Part 1 in Starkhaven is finished. I hope others enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing my Rylen fantasy for this first part xD</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Part One: Starkhaven</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            The day was warm, and Hawke was tired of walking. Her long legs seemed to move of their own accord, her feet making their own way as she thought about Flemeth’s warning. <em>What will you do when faced with darkness? Shall you swim past the rushing currents, or would you sink to the depths of despair? You know your way, girl. You cannot save them all. It is best you never go to Kirkwall. It will only bring you heartache and misery.</em> She knew she was destruction, she didn’t need a witch to tell her that. Perhaps it was the Hawke way and recent revelations burned deep inside of her.</p>
<p>            The wind was cool despite the creeping heat; she relished in the breeze, finding herself missing the bitter cold of Ferelden. A void was forming. It felt as though she betrayed her home by leaving, and abandoning her family in Kirkwall. She couldn’t help feeling sick at being there though. Flemeth’s ill omen hung at the back of her mind, and what she learned from her mother made her world turn upside down. She had to leave, and she found herself cursing her father for never telling her. She was angry with him; all those years being so close to him and one single utterance absolutely destroyed her.</p>
<p>            Hawke guzzled down the last of the bottle of ale she snagged from the inn she was at a few days ago. She wasn’t sure where she was going, or what she should even do. But farther away seemed better. Farther away seemed right.</p>
<p>            She tossed the bottle aside; it shattered against a rock glittering within the harsh sunlight. The wind pushed at her back but something else was off.</p>
<p>            <em>Or you’re just drunk…</em> she muttered to herself. But she heard it. Something carried on the wind. Was there a voice? She wasn’t extremely close to the road, preferring to stick to the woods to avoid people or bandits. She listened a beat, leaves rustling, her cloak billowed around her.</p>
<p>            She bolted, a distinct cry for help ferried its way to her. She was up the next hill and over to the main road as quick as her long legs could take her. She hit the tree line at the crest of the hill and she saw an elven looking carriage, she wasn’t sure of the name. It looked rough, items strewn about the ground, a trail of blood until her eyes locked upon a crumpled mess of a person on the ground. She hurried her way to them, kneeling down and checking on them.</p>
<p>            An elven man lay there whimpering, bloodied, battered, and bruised. She tried to focus, not sure what she could do for him. She was still fuzzy from the ale, but she was trying her best. “Sir, can you hear me?” He flinched at her voice, one eye opening and landing upon her. He tried to move but cried out. “Shh, don’t move, you’ll hurt yourself.”</p>
<p>            She tried to think of what she should do. She didn’t exactly pay much attention to medical help back with her regimen. She was just a warrior, a brute to swing a sword. She was no mage, and not adept with patching someone up like her sister was.</p>
<p>            “We need to take you somewhere to find help.” She muttered.</p>
<p>            “S-Starkhaven,” he sputtered. “My home… alienage.”</p>
<p>            “Where? How far?”</p>
<p>            “Not… far. This road… take… you there,” he wheezed and she quieted him once more.</p>
<p>            “I’ll get you there.”</p>
<p>            She helped him up, cringing at his cries, and did her best to get him onto his wagon. There was a whine from a horse nearby, and she gathered it up and hooked it back in. She wasn’t sure how to lead this, doing her best as the horse thankfully got into its own groove.</p>
<p>            “Take us to Starkhaven, please,” she spoke to it. “Your friend needs help.”</p>
<p>            The road seemed long as they trotted down it, she spoke to him trying to keep him somewhat engaged. He would grunt as she tried to make a joke, and she hoped her sarcasm was helping and not hurting.</p>
<p>            Growing more weary by the minute, she shook her head trying to fight off her tired slump as she sobered up. She could see the city in the near distance when she finally paid attention; she was mesmerized. She’d never seen a city like this. She could see a palace, marble almost glittering in the setting sun, reflecting the prettiest orange and purple hues. The hills behind it were green, a waterfall crashing down from the earth that curved around the city.</p>
<p>            There were stone walls that rung in tiers. It was pretty, fancy, she wasn’t even inside the city yet and already she felt like she didn’t belong. There was no place for a poor soldier inside those walls, but she’d be damned if she let someone else die on her watch.</p>
<p>            “Almost there, sir,” she assured him, hearing him say thank you once again. The horse passed them by smaller huts and homes in the surrounding village, farmlands sprawling before the grand city. Night was creeping closer as they finally made it to the gates, guards halting them as they came upon them.</p>
<p>            “Aye, what’s going on here?” One of them asked and she gave them a look underneath tired eyes. She could easily flirt her way past these guards on her own, but it’d be much harder with a battered man sitting beside her on the wagon.</p>
<p>            “I found this man injured along the road. I need to get him home.”</p>
<p>            He eyed her, noticing that she wasn’t exactly a wandering merchant. She had a sword attached at her back, a rather large knife at her side, and she was dressed in light leathers. She probably looked like a mercenary.</p>
<p>            “Sir, that’s Tannen, a merchant. He lives in the alienage,” the other guard spoke. She passed along a sweet smile his way; she was enjoying the different lilt of their accents.</p>
<p>            “What exactly is your business here?” The first guard turned his attention back to her. “Are you looking for trouble?”</p>
<p>            “If I was looking for trouble would I be so stupid to tell you yes,” she smarted off, and he narrowed his eyes her way. “I only want to get him home, I swear to you. I’ve seen too much death on the battlefield to pass upon someone in need.” Her eyes drifted to the ground.</p>
<p>            “Ferelden?”</p>
<p>            She nodded, “Yes.” A beat passed between them, and another before he nodded, stepping aside.</p>
<p>            “Take this pathway until you come upon the market. Swing right and keep going. You’ll know when you’re there.”</p>
<p>            “Thank you.”</p>
<p>            “Stay out of trouble, lass. You already look like it, don’t go finding it.”</p>
<p>            She smirked, winking as she passed them. Perhaps this place could be fun; maybe it could help her forget.</p>
<p>            She followed the directions, coming across a rickety gate. She could see elves milling about in the night, tired faces heading home from a day of hard work. They watched curiously, a crowd beginning to grow when they saw it wasn’t Tannen guiding his horse but an unknown woman.</p>
<p>            “Excuse me, I need to find a healer of some sort. Your man is hurt.” Immediately people began to come closer, and as soon as they realized what was going on they were set into motion. They guided them down a pathway quickly, and when they reached a little home a woman came out, gasping when she saw them. She assumed it must’ve been his wife as worry covered her face.</p>
<p>            Another elf was hurrying her way down the small path with a man following quickly behind her, and Hawke helped ease Tannen down from the wagon as they guided them inside. She could only stand back and watch, feeling out of place amongst them. She was an outsider for one, and she didn’t know how much these elves even trusted humans.</p>
<p>            “What did you do to him?” She heard behind her back and she turned to see a man in the doorway.</p>
<p>            “I found him hurt,” she told him, and his fury was still blazing on his features. “I only wanted to help.”</p>
<p>            “She… didn’t hurt me.” She heard Tannen croak, the woman tending to him shushed him harshly as she began to inspect his wounds.</p>
<p>            She turned back to the man in the doorway. His features were softening. “What do you want? We cannae give you money.”</p>
<p>            “I don’t want your money,” Hawke told him. She turned back to the scene before her. “Is he going to be alright?”</p>
<p>            “Aye, he will. I don’t think he’s got anything broken, but he was beaten. I’ll see to his care. You have our thanks, missy.”</p>
<p>            Hawke nodded, and when the eyes were off of her she quietly slipped from their home. She pat the horse outside, thanking her for getting them here and she neighed softly, brushing her face against her arm.</p>
<p>            “Where are you going?” She turned to see the woman she assumed was his wife at the doorway. “If you’ve no place to stay… I’ve not much to offer, but a warm meal and a spot near the fire. The nights are cold these days.”</p>
<p>            “I… I really couldn’t impose.”</p>
<p>            “Please, it’s the least I could do for you bringing my love back home to me.”</p>
<p>            Hawke nodded, “Thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            The night was lonely. Eyes heavy yet thoughts unwilling to release her from their grasp. She couldn’t get used to nights alone like this. She missed her siblings most of all. The house was crowded and sometimes she hated it, but now she realized how much she missed those simple days. There was no one to tease, and no one to gripe with about how terrible this new town was.</p>
<p>            A soft smile spread to her lips though; Tannen’s wife was so apologetic about only having pillows and blankets for her to sleep on the floor. She had to laugh. She couldn’t count how many times she, Kahlan, Bethany, and Carver slept on the floor in a mass of pillows in their living room.</p>
<p>            She regretted not telling them goodbye, or telling them why she left in the first place. She was so upset, she wasn’t thinking straight. She sighed, sleep finally found her and come morning she was itching to do something. She wasn’t sure if she should move on from Starkhaven and head off somewhere smaller, or if she should find some sort of work within the city. What could she even do here? She wasn’t good at much other than being a soldier, and she knew she wasn’t cut out for the city guard. She helped their father, along with Carver, with their tiny farm in Lothering despite hating hit. ‘Helping’ was usually stretching the truth. She was mostly out doing whatever pleased her.</p>
<p>            She asked Tannen’s wife, Marielle, if there was anything she needed from the market that she could acquire for her. It took a lot of persuading, but she finally was able to convince her to let her help. She passed her coin, too much she thought, but she made her way off to the market.</p>
<p>            She browsed for a bit, until she finally spotted a young man around her age. Easy mark. She smirked, sauntered her way over to the stall. She settled her icy silvered hues onto the young man, his cheeks were already turning red as he fiddled with his fingers.</p>
<p>            “Wh-what can I get for you today, massere?” He stammered, and she thought how easily she could haggle her way to a good deal.</p>
<p>            “What do you have in stock?” She asked, and he began naming all the things he had at his stall. She pointed to the grain. “How much?” When he sputtered out a price, she placed a hand on her hip.</p>
<p>            “Isn’t there some sort of deal for someone who’s new to the city?” She smiled, and his cheeks flushed a little more. This poor bastard. She almost felt sorry for him. She wasn’t even dressed with her tits hanging out and he was already flustered.</p>
<p>            “I mean… Um, how much are we talking?”</p>
<p>            “Ten?”</p>
<p>            “Ten?! That’s a third of the price!”</p>
<p>            She shrugged, “Well, I don’t have much. I lost most of it to some bandits while on my way here.”</p>
<p>            “I’m sorry to hear that.”</p>
<p>            “I really could use the grain. And some of your vegetables too.” She took out some money. “Please?” It only took a few more looks and she was out of there with a few sacks worth of food that barely cost her twenty silvers. She procured some other supplies, and she was happily making her way back to the alienage.</p>
<p>            She returned to Marielle and Tannen’s home, knocking quietly on the door. The woman opened it, looking relieved, and Hawke took no offense at the notion that this woman thought she’d simply run off with her coin.</p>
<p>            “I brought you some things. I hope it’ll help.” She placed the bags on the table and handed the coin purse back to her. “And here’s the leftover.”</p>
<p>            “Leftover? How? That should’ve bought you all of this! Actually, half of this! Hawke, please don’t tell me you stole it all?”</p>
<p>            “Nonsense,” she chuckled. “If I stole that’d only be bad for you. Have I stolen in the past? Perhaps, but I know the repercussions for your family. I wouldn’t do that to you, especially after the kindness you’ve shown me.”</p>
<p>            Tears welled in her eyes as she looked over the items. “But.. how?!” Her voice was so small.</p>
<p>            “I picked the right merchants that needed their ego stroked,” she winked. “Nothing more.”</p>
<p>            Immediately the woman gave her a hug, the poor thing barely came up to her shoulders. “Thank you, Hawke. You must take this as payment.” She dug inside the little bag, pulling out five sovereigns. “Please, take it.”</p>
<p>            “No, Marielle, no. I can’t! You need it more.”</p>
<p>            The elven woman shook her head. “No, please. You deserve this. I never could’ve accomplished this. We often see our people being overcharged when we go to the markets. The City Guards don’t ever care… Perhaps… Perhaps you could help us?”</p>
<p>            She nodded, “Yes, of course. For as long as I’m able to. How’s Tannen?”</p>
<p>            “Still sore… He told me the bandits wouldn’t stop hitting him. I don’t know how he didn’t break anything. Our healer said they cracked a few ribs, but nothing broken. The gods smiled upon him. They sent you too.”</p>
<p>            Hawke chuckled softly. “Marielle, I don’t think your gods would send someone like me. Bad things always seem to follow me.”</p>
<p>            “Nonsense! You are truly special, Hawke. Thank you so much.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            A week gone by and there were several other elves that had hired her to go to the market for them. She only went one other time, and made sure to venture out of the city to the surrounding villages. It took longer, but she tried to make it look not so suspicious back in the city that she was buying this much stuff. Once they found out she was buying for the elves they’d probably increase their prices.</p>
<p>            She was making her way back through the market speaking to an older man she’d befriended. He thought she was funny with her wit and charm, and he didn’t seem to mind giving her a good deal if she delivered some of his wares for him. She thought it was a fair deal, and it was another benefit to help her new friends. When she was done she continued on her way until a beckoning call grabbed her attention.</p>
<p>            “Aye, are you the lass they say’s a mage?” She turned to look at where that deep breathy voice came from and she raised a brow at the man standing before her. He was a Templar, that she could already tell, practically able to sniff them out a mile away and this one was no different. However, he was much, <em>much</em> more handsome than any Templar she came across in Lothering.</p>
<p>            He was taller than her, which was surprising to her as she was taller than a lot of men already. The fact that he made her feel small caused her to straighten her back as she planted her hands upon her hips. There was a peculiar tattoo that lined his nose, four marks at his chin. He had mottled scars on his cheeks, yet it made him all the more handsome in his young, rough visage. Those light blue hues were intense upon her. He had an air of mischief about him as a small smirk spread at his plush lips.</p>
<p>            Hawke snorted as she regained her composure, smirking at him. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been mistaken for a mage in my life.”</p>
<p>            “Heard quite the opposite about this pillar of a woman amongst the markets.”</p>
<p>            “I fear you’ve lost me, serah, exactly what have I done to be accused of being a mage?”</p>
<p>            He moved a little closer, his men beside him looked poised and ready, hands at their swords. The man standing in front of her was relaxed, not a bit afraid or wary of her.</p>
<p>            “A young lad’s family claimed you put a spell on him, cheated him of his wares.” She burst out laughing, saw the laughter in his own eyes. “I can see why they could’ve thought so,” he chuckled with her.</p>
<p>            “Was that a compliment?”</p>
<p>            “Aye, perhaps, no sense fussing around the obvious, lass. You’re clearly not a mage. I sense no magic.”</p>
<p>            She crossed her arms, “your men don’t share your confidence.”</p>
<p>            He glanced behind him, they eased up when he gave them a look. “New blood, I’m afraid. They’ll piss themselves at the mention of an apostate on the loose.”</p>
<p>            “Knight Corporal?” One of them frowned and she pressed her lips together to keep from laughing at the poor sod.</p>
<p>            “Back to the tower,” he ordered, “you can tell the Lieutenant there was no basis to the rumors.”</p>
<p>            “But she’s a thief! You’re going to let her go? Wh-what about what the Knight Lieutenant said?” The other squeaked.</p>
<p>            “What other tall tales are you trying to tell?” He barked, “back to the tower. Now.”</p>
<p>            Hawke rolled her eyes when they left. “Knight Corporal? How very lucky for me that I was graced with your presence, even though you’re only one step above being at the bottom of the food chain.” Corporals were usually bad news. They were always trying to assert authority in order to rank up to the next promotion the swiftest way they could. She had plenty of run ins with Knight Corporals who couldn’t keep their noses out of everyone’s business.</p>
<p>            “No need to be so excited about it.”</p>
<p>            She huffed, “Well, if that was all, <em>Corporal</em>, I’ll take my leave. I have people to help, not beat into submission.” She dug and he made a face.</p>
<p>            “Ouch. Is that how they handle their circles in the dog lands?” He bit back, not the least bit offended, but he seemed intent upon dragging out their conversation.</p>
<p>            “Let’s just say, I’ve known quite a few Templars who are heading to the deepest pits of the afterlife where they belong.”</p>
<p>            “Not all of us are like that.” He assured her, but she gave him a half-hearted shrug. He could preach all he wanted to about how they weren’t all bad, but what her family went through as she grew up was etched firmly into her mind.</p>
<p>            “And not all dogs can learn new tricks, <em>Corporal</em>.”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, “My name’s Rylen,” he held out his hand.</p>
<p>            She grasped it, gave him a hard handshake. “Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “There’s help and work to be had for refugees here.” He told her.</p>
<p>            “I don’t need your charity.”</p>
<p>            He shrugged, moving past her. “Aye, tis only a suggestion. Better here than Kirkwall.”</p>
<p>            She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked back seeing him lingering. “Well, Corporal, I think it’s time I go. There’s people your city doesn’t seem to care about that need some help.” She waved him off, heading back in the direction of the alienage with her supplies in hand.</p>
<p>            “Stay out of trouble, Hawke. Though for you I’m sure that’s difficult.” She could hear the playfulness in his tone. She turned around as she walked backwards, giving him a tiny wave and her own playful smirk before she resumed her previous path and left his presence for good.</p>
<p>            She frowned though as she increased her gait. <em>Not even two weeks in a new place and the fucking templars already found you.</em> She berated herself. <em>Fucking Knight Corporal at that.</em> Shaking her head she let out a groan wondering what the hell was wrong with her to flirt with a damn Knight Corporal, no matter how good looking he was.</p>
<p>            She wasn’t paying attention and someone slammed right into her, and she nearly lost her balance until their hands steadied her at her shoulders.</p>
<p>            “Apologies, milady.” He looked angry, but the anger had been at his brow before their run in. He immediately softened as he stared at her. He was barely taller than her, and she began to wonder what was in the water here in Starkhaven. They sure did make them pretty. His hair was a ruddy brown, short, swept to the side and his blue eyes were locked on hers. There was a rosiness to his deep, golden tanned skin. “Apologies,” he muttered again, “I was a wee bit pissy at my folks. I’m sure you understand.”</p>
<p>            She felt a burn simmering within her at the mention of parents, but she nodded as he finally released her shoulders and pulled his hood back over his head. “You don’t look as though you’re from around here, lass.” He observed and she planted a hand at her hip.</p>
<p>            “Not quite. Ferelden.”</p>
<p>            “Oh? Ferelden? I… Apologies…” She burned at that too, but there wasn’t anything else she could do about what was going on down south. Ostagar showed her how powerless she was. The Grey Wardens were slaughtered… She had no idea what that meant for her home country. She didn’t want to think about if that mess poured over the Waking Sea to here. Would they be able to out run the growing threat? Would she even try?</p>
<p>            She offered him a smile, patting him on the arm. “I’m here now… People I cared about are safe, that’s all that mattered.”</p>
<p>            “Aye, tis true…” He was silent a moment. “Have you had a tour of the city?” He smiled her way and she shook her head.</p>
<p>            “I’ve a job to finish.”</p>
<p>            “Aw, where’s the fun in that? You’ve got time I’m sure. My name’s,” he hesitated, “well, my friends call me Rabbie.”</p>
<p>            “Hawke.” She reciprocated then quirked a brow, “Rabbie? Do you hop about like a rabbit?”</p>
<p>            “Quite so,” he laughed. “As a child.” He popped up onto his toes. “My older brother is the worst.”</p>
<p>            “You younger siblings don’t know how to suck it up do you?” She crossed her arms.</p>
<p>            “Ah, spoken like a true elder sibling. Should have figured. Though I’m blessed to be a middle child. <em>Almost</em> forgotten, yet not quite… these days.” He had a forlorn look on his features. “You sure you wouldn’t want to take a spin of the city with me?” He heard something and glanced over his shoulder. “Er, apologies. I must go, Hawke. Till we meet again?” He backed off, hurriedly making his way off. She saw a few city guards passing by moments later looking rushed, and she wondered what manner of trouble that young man was in.</p>
<p>            He certainly did not look like someone from the poor sector of town, his boots too clean, and his garb too crisp. She shrugged it off and followed the cobblestone path back to the alienage. The city guard paying her no mind. She’d become fast friends with a few, helping out with errands to gain favors and bits of coin. She wasn’t ashamed to admit she slept with one already. She knew how to get what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to scratch the itch when she needed to.</p>
<p>            She had to admit she rather liked the alienage here. It wasn’t as run down and smothered as others. She knew how badly they were treated in Denerim, she’d heard things when they used to live on the outskirts of town when she and Kahlan were very young, Carver and Beth little babies still. She always felt that she and Kahlan had to grow up rather quickly. They were so close.</p>
<p>            Leaning her back against a stable post she watched the little children running around playing. The guilt was eating at her about leaving. What they must be going through… She hoped they were able to make it into the city by this point, but she tried to beg their mother to leave. There was nothing for them in Kirkwall, she highly doubted that Leandra had any standing to get them in. It wasn’t as if the Amells sent letters inquiring about their wellbeing.</p>
<p>            She chewed on her lower lip, wondering if she would ever see them again. She missed them so much, but she still didn’t know how she could face them. With leaving, or with what their mother told her. She half-wondered if the woman told the rest of them. She never had a great relationship with her; the resentment she carried always there. She always thought it was because she was the reason for them leaving their quite comfortable home outside Redcliffe for a tiny hut in Lothering. She knew better now.</p>
<p>            Letting out a sigh, she heaved her pack over her back heading over to Marielle and Tannen’s home first. When the children milling about noticed her tall form they scurried right over. She picked up the dangerous habit of procuring candy for the young ones.</p>
<p>            “You know your folks will be angry with me. Don’t eat it all at once, please.” She teased. They reminded her of Carver and Beth, how they always relied on her and Kahlan to pass them goodies they ‘found’ at the markets. She always managed to drag Kahlan into trouble. Their father only laughed, yet their mother chastised the older girls, warning them to be as invisible as they could be. Especially Kahlan, as a mage she knew better, but Leandra was usually most worried about Bethany. She had more trouble as a child learning how to control her powers.</p>
<p>            When she came upon their house she saw Tannen tending to Goldie, his horse. He was getting around a lot better already, though he was hunched and using a cane most of the time. He insisted that he was better, and she hoped he was over thanking her so much. The people here already gave her too much, offering her a little home that had been empty for a few years. If she could make their lives easier, she would. Any little job they needed done she would be glad to help them with. She liked to believe she was a jack of all trades.</p>
<p>            “Ah, it’s lovely to see you this evening. Marielle is finishing up supper as we speak. Will you join us this evening?”</p>
<p>            She shook her head, “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll have to decline tonight. I already ate on my way back. It smells lovely though.”</p>
<p>            “Aye, well, I’ll let you know when she’s making fish and egg pie. You’ll love it. When I’m able to fish we’ll have it.”</p>
<p>            “I’m rubbish at fishing, or else I’d go get them myself for you,” she laughed. It was a little more pricey at the market.</p>
<p>            “No, no, nonsense, Hawke. You’ve done so much already for us. We will treat you properly when we get the chance.”</p>
<p>            “You already have, my friend.” She smiled, setting the supplies inside his house. She greeted Marielle, and made her way back out, delivering the rest of the supplies to the other houses around.</p>
<p>            Once done she went back out into the city as night fell. One of the city guards had asked if she could keep a look out for some troubling dealings at one of the seedier taverns in town. She’d begun to frequent it, the ale wasn’t half bad there, and so they figured she could help them out.</p>
<p>            The raucousness hit her as soon as she entered the Bleakhaven, named thusly for the bleakness that the shallows were known for. It was a terribly weak part of town, cracks in the exterior wall allowed the higher part of the river to seep water in during heavy rain. Though the spirits were always high in a tavern. The ale was to thank for that, and the fiddler making merry on his fiddle helped to lighten the mood.</p>
<p>            She grabbed a tankard and found a small table by herself. It was early enough that there were still some empty seats. She watched, but also scribbled in her notebook. She was trying to compose a letter, but it was coming out rather poorly. She had no idea what to say to Kahlan, Carver, and Beth, but… She barely had two sentences down for Kahlan. She was stuck, and she could only imagine how furious they all were with her.</p>
<p>            So she drank. One tankard down, and half of another before someone plopped themselves loudly into the chair across from her. She glanced up and was treated to the grin of pearly white teeth from the young man she met earlier.</p>
<p>            “Fancy seeing you here,” Rabbie greeted, hood still over his head. He was flushed, a little sweat at his brow. She could already tell that he’d drunk quite a bit.</p>
<p>            “Isn’t this place a little beneath you.”</p>
<p>            He frowned, “What… Whatever do you mean?” He tried to catch himself as she seemed to have caught him off guard.</p>
<p>            “Please, it doesn’t take a scholar to see that your garb is from nowhere else but the upper tier of this city.” She closed her notebook on the failed letter and put it away. “You’re obviously some noble lord’s brat.” She smirked his way and he narrowed his eyes.</p>
<p>            “Mighty perceptive are ye?” He drawled. “We can keep that between us?”</p>
<p>            She shrugged, “As long as I don’t get caught up in any kind of drama you might have surrounding yourself then fine.”</p>
<p>            “Not to worry. My little brother took the better part of the gossip throughout the years.” He frowned at that, seeming to get lost in thought.</p>
<p>            “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>            “Hm? For what?” He shook himself from his stupor.</p>
<p>“Usually that look means they’ve passed away.”</p>
<p>            He shook his head, “Oh no… No… Probably… Worse… Yes, I would say what they did to him was worse,” he murmured, looking down at the table. “He’s still alive. I admit… I don’t know how he fairs… I miss him though.”</p>
<p>            “Then… Go see him?” She raised a brow.</p>
<p>            “My parents would have a shit, lass. Besides, it’s a little too far to get to Kirkwall, and I would be stopped at the gates.”</p>
<p>            She let out a sigh. “Why does everything seem to revolve around Kirkwall, even out here?”</p>
<p>            “Well, their chantry was bigger and the Grand Cleric is a friend.” He shrugged, but then grimaced. “Aw fuck… I’m… Not supposed to tell anyone this, I’m sorry. Can you forget this conversation.”</p>
<p>            “It means nothing to me.” She began to grow suspicious of him, why would he care so much?</p>
<p>            “Would you like to take a walk? Can we? It’s hot in here, and it’s getting a wee bit smelly.”</p>
<p>            She laughed, “I suppose so.” She gathered her pack, guzzling the last bit of ale before she left. He was excited, almost as if he never wandered alone so far off whatever property he came from. “How old are you, exactly? You act as though you’re a sheltered teenager.”</p>
<p>            “It’s my twenty-sixth birthday.” He said, giving her a cheeky grin.</p>
<p>            “Ah, that explains it.”</p>
<p>            “I couldn’t stand another moment of… it, you know. The ‘celebration.’ I barely know who any of them are.”</p>
<p>            Her brows furrowed, “Who exactly are you?”</p>
<p>            “Besides, I can hardly play along. It’s not as if I’m the favorite anyway.” He ignored her question entirely as he half swung, half stumbled off a lamp post. “Where are you from, Hawke?”</p>
<p>            “A bit of everywhere in Ferelden I suppose.”</p>
<p>            “How old are you exactly,” he pressed.</p>
<p>            “Twenty-three. Why?”</p>
<p>            He scoffed, “You’re acting awfully mature for someone so young.”</p>
<p>            She laughed, “I’m not drunk enough yet. And that’s what happens when you have to grow up fast.”</p>
<p>            “Aye, I know what you mean.” He frowned again. “I don’t have many friends. At least… Real friends.”</p>
<p>            “I didn’t have many either, we moved around too much. All I have are my siblings.”</p>
<p>            “Well,” he grinned her way, stopping beside her, “You have another. If you don’t think you’re too good to be my friend.” He laughed.</p>
<p>            “Oh, I’m the snotty one now?”</p>
<p>            “Right you are, lass. You took one look at me, you went ‘oh rich bastard,’ and that was that.”</p>
<p>            “Yes, of course I did,” she chuckled along with him. They continued to walk, Rabbie chattering along. She couldn’t remember the last time she simply spoke about life and simple things with a young man close to her age. She didn’t view them with much potential other than sex, but she didn’t get that vibe from him. He didn’t seem interested in that from her.</p>
<p>            “Wait,” she stopped him, and before he could say something she clapped her hand over his mouth. She listened, hearing what distinctly sounded like a knife being unsheathed rather slowly.</p>
<p>            “Heard the royal bastard was out and about,” she heard the crooked voice, and hovered her hand over her knife at her thigh. He whistled when he saw her, a few other men coming out as well.</p>
<p>            “Shite,” Rabbie cursed. “I’m sorry, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “Looks like he got himself a pretty lady. Guess the brothers are alike, yeah?” Another laughed. “Shouldn’t you know better than to run off from the royal palace, Princeling Vael? Aren’t you afraid that mummy and daddy will throw you away like your brother, eh?”</p>
<p>            “Shut up,” Rabbie suddenly yelled and she pushed him back.</p>
<p>            “I bet they’ll pay a pretty sovereign for your head.”</p>
<p>            “Well, see, that’s a problem for me. Because as his friend, I’m obligated to hand your ass right back to you. So I suggest you leave.”</p>
<p>            “You can back off, lassie, you and your filthy dog lords got no place ‘ere in Starkhaven.”</p>
<p>            “She is mighty fine, Broderick. Someone would pay for her too.”</p>
<p>            “Pay for me? Oh you’re just the chaps I’m looking for then.” She smiled deviously at them.</p>
<p>            “Hawke, what are you doing?” Rabbie questioned, pulling at her arm. “We should run.”</p>
<p>            “You run, I’ll deal with them. Go fetch the city guard.”</p>
<p>            “Hawke—”</p>
<p>            “‘Scuse me?” The bigger one laughed. “You think you can fight us? We’ll beat you into the ground, lassie.”</p>
<p>            “Hawke, there’s three of them.”</p>
<p>            “Yes, Rabbie, precisely why when you see your opening you need to run and get a city guardsmen.”</p>
<p>            “But, Hawke—” Rabbie was interrupted again, when the biggest of the three men charged her. She reacted, lifting her leg to kick him square in the chest so hard that he flew back, stumbling into his mates.</p>
<p>            “Rabbie, now!” She shouted at him.</p>
<p>            “Fucking shite,” he muttered, running away. She took her knife out, wishing she had her sword, but this would have to do as she tossed her cloak and pack onto the ground.</p>
<p>            “You think you’re something, yeah? We’ll find the little shite and extort those rich arseholes whether you give him a head start or not, bitch.”</p>
<p>            She shrugged casually, angling her knife back in her hand. “I fought a Darkspawn Ogre, you prick, you really think you scare me?”</p>
<p>            They began to laugh, and in their moment of distraction she moved in, quickly slicing one deep atop his exposed collar bone. She kicked him back, suffering a punch to the face from Broderick. She stumbled backwards, rolling out the way. The injured man ran off, and she was left with the two trying to come at her. She held tight to her knife, elbowing one of them in the face when he tried to flank her. He cried out about his nose, and the biggest one, Broderick, managed to kick her hard at her hip.</p>
<p>            She stumbled back again, seeing stars for a moment at the rush of pain, but she regained her senses and sliced her knife across his hand when he came back for another hit. Seeing her opening she slammed her fist into his throat, and he gasped for air as he stumbled back. Before his buddy could come back for more she smashed her fist to his temple, knocking him out.</p>
<p>            She could hear the heavy steps of boots coming from the curve, in both directions nonetheless. She was relieved at the sight of the guard behind her, yet a few more bandits were stupid enough to come running with the first bimbo from their direction. They quickly began to backtrack at the sight of the guardsmen behind her. However, they hadn’t realized more guards were at their flank.</p>
<p>            The Captain of the Guard made his way towards her. “Aye, when Baylen said he had a local helping with his investigation I didn’t think it’d actually bear fruit. You have my thanks Lady Hawke for assisting in our investigation. Lord Vael here told us what he said. That he planned to extort his family, and sell you off. We’ve been after these mutts for months.”</p>
<p>            She crossed her arms over her chest, catching her breath finally, but gave a quick glare to her supposed friend. “Yes, thank you <em>Prince</em> Vael.”</p>
<p>            “Aye… I’m not Prince…” He muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m sorry for lying. It was nice being normal for a few hours.”</p>
<p>            “Normal?” She chuckled. “This is not what you would call normal.”</p>
<p>            “Well, seems so for you. You look like you’ve done all that before. I could’ve helped you know?”</p>
<p>            “You were better off fetching guardsman. I didn’t need a member of the royal fucking family dying and me getting blamed for it.”</p>
<p>            “It wouldn’t have been your fault.”</p>
<p>            “Rabbie,” she barked, “you live in the dark if you don’t think your family wouldn’t place the blame on me.”</p>
<p>            “They wouldn’t’ve done that!” He shouted back.</p>
<p>            “Oh really? And what of your brother?” She regretted bringing that up as soon as she said it. So much for lying low in this city. “Apologies,” she said, seeing that it stung. He was looking at the ground, but she could see how upset he was.</p>
<p>            “I’ll be off now, Captain, have at them.” She grabbed her things and kicked at Broderick when he was trying to sit up; he flopped back to the ground as he continued to wheeze. She was pissed at herself mostly. How the hell did she keep finding herself in these damn situations? If she wasn’t cursed then she didn’t know what was wrong. What the hell did her father do to bring misfortune to the Hawke line?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            A week later she’d completed the rest of her obligations. Her belongings fit in one pack. She thought it best that she leave the city as soon as she could and after she slept hard enough. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but she found a map and was determined to go wherever she could where trouble wouldn’t follow her. She didn’t have the heart to tell Tannen or Marielle, and she slipped through the alienage and was back out onto the streets.</p>
<p>            She made her way through the market and she stopped in her tracks when she saw that Knight Corporal chatting with one of the sellers. <em>Shit</em>, she thought. She didn’t really want to have another run in with him. He was already far too suspicious of her, and she didn’t trust herself not gaining a stomach full of butterflies around him.</p>
<p>            She pulled her hood up, hoping she could sneak behind him without him noticing but of course the Templar had to be keen on his senses. “Lady, Hawke,” he called, and she grimaced, but put on her best charming attitude before turning to face him.</p>
<p>            “What’s with all this ‘Lady’ nonsense, Corporal?”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, “Deeds of your heroism last week have spread throughout Starkhaven. Seems you’ve a knack for protecting people, namely the second heir to our Prince.”</p>
<p>            “Splendid.” She scrunched her nose, “was there something you needed from me?”</p>
<p>            He looked her over, taking note of her things. “Flying off somewhere?”</p>
<p>            “Yes, away from this place. It’s a bit too crowded for my liking.”</p>
<p>            “That’s a shame. Someone with your skillset would be greatly appreciated here in our lovely city. The Knight Captain wanted me to find you. Ask if you wanted to join the Templar ranks.” If she were drinking she would’ve promptly choked, and she could see he was trying not to laugh, however she did, raucously so. “I told her there was no point in asking.”</p>
<p>            “You told her, or you’re <em>going</em> to tell her after this? Seems you wouldn’t have sought me out if you had done the former.” She wiped the tears from her eyes, clutching her side. It still slightly hurt from her bout the week prior.</p>
<p>            “You’re an interesting, bird, lass.” He grinned down at her. “I see you’re about to fly away. Is that why you’re called Hawke?” She shivered, the way he said her name was absolutely delicious, and she found herself wondering what it’d be like to bed him. He had too much cheekiness to be one of those chaste Templars, too much sass to even <em>be</em> a Templar.</p>
<p>            “Tell me, what exactly prompts a strapping, capable lad as yourself to become a Templar.”</p>
<p>            “Keen on avoiding questions, I see. Alright then, if you must know, it’s rather hard for a family to get by when it’s a family of seven. I did what I had to when I was fifteen and I wanted to do something useful. So here I am. Seems I’ve a knack for this.”</p>
<p>            “You could’ve joined the city guard.” She crossed her arms.</p>
<p>            “You really don’t like Templars,” he chuckled. Shrugging her shoulders she stared back at him. “It pays better,” he joked. “My folks are slightly devout. They were proud of their youngest welp.”</p>
<p>            “Right…” She squirmed slightly under his gaze, his dark brown hair was short and wavy, and she wondered if it’d be soft against her fingertips. She placed her hand to her forehead, “Maker, help me,” she quietly muttered and rolled her eyes to the sound of his breathy laugh. “Are you done with me? Don’t you have a job to do? Harassing mages rather than me?”</p>
<p>            “I don’t harass my charges, I look out for them.”</p>
<p>            She squared her shoulders, hands planting to her hips now. “I’m sure you do. That’s what you all like to think.”</p>
<p>            He ignored her next quip and her hand shot to his wrist when he brought his thumb to her cheek. He softly brushed his finger underneath her fading bruise.</p>
<p>            “You had quite the shiner there.”</p>
<p>            “It’s not the first, and surely not the last,” she finally responded. He grinned down at her, letting his hand drop and she let go of his wrist.</p>
<p>            “Join the city guard then?” He offered up, nodding behind her. She turned back to look seeing the captain which caused her to groan.</p>
<p>            “Goodbye, Corporal. Have fun harassing your mages.”</p>
<p>            “We’ll see each other again, lass.” She narrowed her eyes at him when he winked at her.</p>
<p>            “Starkhaven bastards…” She muttered to herself.</p>
<p>            “Lady Hawke?” She whirled around.</p>
<p>            “This Lady Hawke business needs to stop, now.”</p>
<p>            The Captain bobbed his head, “Not sure what else to address you by.”</p>
<p>            “Andraste’s tits,” she cursed, “Hawke will suffice.” She was beginning to grow frustrated. She could see he would’ve laughed if it were another time.</p>
<p>            “I would have to ask that you please refrain from colorful ‘blasphemous’ language for a short spell.”</p>
<p>            “Why is that?”</p>
<p>            “The Prince wants to cordially invite you to the palace and give you his thanks in person for helping his son last week.”</p>
<p>            “Oh, Maker, preserve me. No, I’m leaving.”</p>
<p>            Another guard stepped in her way. “The Prince ordered your presence be made.”</p>
<p>            “Look, I’m not a citizen, I don’t care about your Prince or his family. I’ll be gone and out of your city if you just let me go.”</p>
<p>            “We’ll be forced to detain you otherwise.” The Captain groaned, “Please, Hawke. Just come with us. We don’t want to do this but we have orders.”</p>
<p>            She let out a sigh, “Fine.” She acquiesced to their request, but she made her displeasure known the whole way.</p>
<p>            Eventually the road turned to a beautiful granite pathway, and once to the upper tier the houses were more opulent. There were fountains, beautiful gardens, plenty of things she’d never glimpsed in her life. It was almost uncomfortable to think that in her twenty-three years the fantasy of how the rich lived proved to be beyond what she thought it was.</p>
<p>            She could see the marble palace, sun glittering off of it the closer she got. The Minanter River behind the walls was flowing, she could hear it, and see the waterfall behind the palace. Once inside the opulence carried on, crisp and clean as the marble flowed.</p>
<p>            “We would ask again that—”</p>
<p>            “Yes, I know. Behave myself. I gathered that already, Captain.”</p>
<p>            “Please. I would hate to have to arrest you.”</p>
<p>            She gave him her best charming smile. “I’ll have you know parents <em>adore</em> me.”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, “I’m sure they do.”</p>
<p>            He led her throughout the palace, its rounding halls curving similarly to the likeness of the city walls. It wasn’t long before she spotted Rabbie. He gave her a small smile and she returned a passing wave.</p>
<p>            He came up to her, hands clasped behind his back. He was dressed in his best, looking uncomfortable, but he tried his best to not let it affect him.</p>
<p>            “Good morning, Hawke. Thank you again for last week. I would’ve found you sooner, but they have me watched practically all the time right now.”</p>
<p>            “No need to thank me… I’m still sorry for what I said.”</p>
<p>            “It’s alright. I deserved it. I received a sound verbal lashing when I arrived home. I would’ve thought they were talking to my little brother with the way they yelled at me.” A sad chuckle left him and she patted him on the shoulder.</p>
<p>            “It’ll be alright.” She tried to comfort him, and he drew in a breath and sighed it away.</p>
<p>            “Yes, well, my parents wanted to thank you. I apologize now for how snobbish they might come across. They are… good people… They do care about their city, it’s just… Sometimes they’re a bit too… Royal… And selfish…”</p>
<p>            She laughed, “I see. Well, I’ve nothing to compare them to.” With a shrug she followed after him, the guards taking their leave. One last warning look from the Captain caused her to snort and she waved him off.</p>
<p>            They entered into a room, it was large, sprawling, though there was a fireplace made of marble at one end, and plenty of plush furniture. She could see pictures on the walls, presumably the Prince and Princess, followed by three young men that looked somewhat similar to Rabbie. They all shared the same golden tanned complexion, the same ruddy brown hair. The eldest’s eyes were brown to Rabbie’s blue. The third however, his eyes were a brilliant shade of aqua. It reminded her of the ocean. His portrait portrayed a mischievous air, a soft smile; he was quite young in this painting, the portrait quite old now and somewhat faded. However his eyes still shone through.</p>
<p>            “Your brothers?”</p>
<p>            “Ah, yes, Gavin the oldest over there, me, and that’s Sebastian.” She didn’t tear her eyes away from Sebastian. “You know… You kind of remind me of him. Rebellious, fun. He was the fighter. I don’t think he ever expected that he would be the one out of the two of us to be sent off to the chantry as a brother…” She glanced over at him.</p>
<p>            “I can’t possibly see how you think we’re alike if he’s now a brother of the faith.”</p>
<p>            “Well, he can’t have changed much…? Well… perhaps he has. It’s been eight years now. Maker, he’s twenty-four now… I wonder if he hates me.”</p>
<p>            She was quiet next to him. “I wonder the same thing.” They shared a look, both trying to offer the other a comforting smile when they heard the door practically burst open. A servant was announcing names, and she barely could keep up. She didn’t pay much attention but noticed the way Rabbie straightened. A quiet fear must’ve been buried deep inside that he’d be cast off exactly like his little brother. Couldn’t have the younger brothers compete for the future throne. Especially if they were embarrassments to the family.</p>
<p>            “Father, mother, this is Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “Ah yes, the famed ‘Hawke’ now.” His father gave her a slight nod. “Lovely young lass she is.”</p>
<p>            “What is your name, my dear?” His mother asked.</p>
<p>            “It is Hawke.” She straightened, trying her best not to be the young asshole she knew she was. “My father called me Noa, my mother insisted Noalaine sounded much better. But I prefer Noa Hawke.”</p>
<p>            His older brother came into the room, a young woman behind him with two little ones following after her. Their father chuckled.</p>
<p>            “Yes, Robert here has taken to the moniker our oldest bestowed upon him, much to our chagrin.”</p>
<p>            “Apologies, father, I didn’t think he’d actually take to it.” Gavin spoke. “So this is your savior, Rabbie, how good for you that you managed to find someone to look after your arse.” He proceeded to introduce himself, his wife and two children. She paid attention for a moment, but when the silence hung in the air she decided to be… Hawke.</p>
<p>            “So, when will your other son be joining us?” She motioned to the portraits on the wall and she saw that it struck a nerve with their father. Rabbie pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh at their subtle disapproval.</p>
<p>            “Our youngest, Sebastian, is serving us proudly as a brother of faith in Kirkwall,” their mother spoke. It sounded so rehearsed. So like a noble family to use the chantry to gain favor with the masses.</p>
<p>            She nodded and when silence struck them again she had to try to get out of here. “It’s been a real pleasure, and I do apologize, but I must take my leave. I must keep moving on. I fear your lovely city has no use for a Ferelden refugee.” Hawke nodded to them, trying her best to make herself seem undesirable for a change. However, they didn’t take to that as she thought they would.</p>
<p>            “Nonsense, milady. You will dine with us. Refugees are welcome in Starkhaven, we have a history of it. It’s terrible the tragedy happening to the south. During the Fourth Blight we opened our doors.”</p>
<p>            She mustered up a smile, Rabbie offering her a sympathetic look. “Thank you…” She uttered.</p>
<p>            The conversation thankfully turned from her own person to the fate of Thedas, thank goodness for that. Rabbie did his best to field off personal questions for her, knowing his family. She wanted nothing more than to escape, and if they were going to hold her here much longer she was going to do just that. Escaping from a palace would be a first for her. Although she couldn’t deny sneaking out of places when she was younger.</p>
<p>            It was a whole day’s affair it seemed. His family seemed intent upon rewarding her somehow and though she would’ve heartily accepted a coin purse full of sovereigns, she didn’t want it from a royal family. They would expect much more in return if she did.</p>
<p>            “Rabbie,” she whispered to him, “please get me out of here.”</p>
<p>            He gave her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t you believe that if I knew how to I would <em>also</em> be gone with you?”</p>
<p>            “This is your family, not mine. You’re supposed to suffer with them.”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, “I’m sure they’ll let you go after dinner. Just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s fine.”</p>
<p>            The wine was practically flowing like the Minanter River at the dinner table. Everyone partaking and feeling good. His family became more relaxed, less stuffy, but the filter they had was long gone. They were every bit the picture of the royal family she expected of them, excluding Rabbie.</p>
<p>            “Well we had to send him away,” his mother spoke, wine swirling in her glass. Somehow the conversation had returned to Sebastian. “He was an embarrassment. Thank the Maker that there were no bastards to speak of. He would’ve ruined us at only sixteen with his whoring around.”</p>
<p>            She could never have forgiven her family had they willingly given up Kahlan or Bethany to the circle, or even Carver to the Templars to keep them off their backs. How they could tie up their son and haul him away to Kirkwall was beyond her. With no remorse for their actions. All they could think about was how it would look, or how it would effect Gavin’s future heirs before he even had them.</p>
<p>            Rabbie looked thoroughly embarrassed and she drank the rest of the wine in her glass in one gulp. If she had to listen to their drivel for one more minute she might explode upon them all. The extra food at the table was even beginning to make her feel sick, as she thought about how little the elves in the alienage had, but the fact that it sickened her didn’t stop her from slipping bread or fruit into her pack for them when no one was looking.</p>
<p>            She finally took in a deep breath, slamming back the refill of wine the servant gave her. They weren’t paying much attention to her in their revelry and she tapped the man’s arm. “May I ask where the powder room is?” He nodded telling her he’d show her the way. She waved to Rabbie and he chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>            It wasn’t long before she’d found her way out of the palace, down the granite pathway and back to her own reality. The wine was strong, she felt pretty damn good, but the whole experience left her soured. Now all she wanted to do was find a warm bed and a man to share it with.</p>
<p>            She skipped her way down the pathway, stumbling a few times as she found the market in the center of town. The merchants were absent at this time of night, and she felt the chill of the breeze as she looked around at the emptiness. It wasn’t unlike the emptiness she felt inside. Being up there, it made her want to run back to Kirkwall despite Flemeth’s warnings. Perhaps she should. What did the witch know anyway?</p>
<p>            She found herself winded, dropping her pack to the ground as she slipped her cloak from herself. The chill of the night felt wonderful on her heated skin, and she ran her hand through her short hair. It was growing out nicely from that short cut she unfortunately had to give herself. Bethany was a little excited when she found she could produce fire magic, and well. The results weren’t the best. It was hair though, it’d grow back. But she rather missed the way that Kahlan would braid her hair in all kinds of different ways before.</p>
<p>            Her back hit the wall as she slid herself down to the cobblestone street. She could head down the path and leave the city now, or she could sleep off her drunkenness in the little house she lived in now. She was far too involved with too many prominent people in this city to stay. She had to leave tomorrow.</p>
<p>            The sound of armor clanged her way and she looked over, groaning when she saw who it was. He however had the biggest shit eating grin on his face.</p>
<p>            “Lovely to see you this evening, Lady Hawke,” Rylen said, coming to a stop beside her. “I told you we’d see each other again.”</p>
<p>            She stared up at him, narrowing her eyes. “You could’ve warned me.” She continued to glare and he continued to grin. “You knew the royal pissants wanted to see me.”</p>
<p>            He laughed, the breathiness of it further warming her skin, her insides. “And spoil getting to see that look upon your face? Perish the thought.” He knelt down when she didn’t get up.</p>
<p>            “What do you want, Rylen?” She slurred. “Aren’t you supposed to be snug in bed at the barracks or some such?”</p>
<p>            “Aye, normally. Being a Corporal has a few perks. Namely a day off to visit family here and there.”</p>
<p>            “One day? It’s as though you’re prisoners yourselves.”</p>
<p>            “Well, one could see it that way I suppose. We have our freedoms, but there are rules to it all.”</p>
<p>            “Hmph,” she raised a brow at him. When silence spanned between them she narrowed her eyes again. “What do you want from me, Rylen,” she asked once more, considering he hadn’t answered her the first time.</p>
<p>            He laughed, “Can’t two friends have a simple conversation? Sitting about in the deserted market as we are?”</p>
<p>            “We’re not friends.”</p>
<p>            “Since when?” He sat back, uncomfortably so in his armor. “I thought we’d become fast friends.”</p>
<p>            “I don’t befriend Templars, and I certainly don’t sleep with them.” She shot at him, which only caused him to smirk.</p>
<p>            “Perhaps you’ll change your mind.”</p>
<p>            “Doubt it.”</p>
<p>            “I take it you have mages in your family? I’m sorry if Templars were the cause of—”</p>
<p>            “Stop. Stop it now. Don’t patronize me.” She was heated, but she couldn’t help getting lost in those haunting light blue eyes. “You’re trying to get under my skin. It won’t work.”</p>
<p>            “Hmm,” he rumbled. “Seems quite like it’s already happened, lass.” He hopped up, offering a hand to her. She ignored his help and instead rather gracefully used the merchant’s stall next to her to pull herself up. He was chuckling, and she was glaring back at him until she stumbled backwards when she stood, right into his chest.</p>
<p>            “If you say one cheesy or snarky line I will fight you here and now,” she grumbled as he steadied her. He was laughing, but luckily he stayed silent on witty quips.</p>
<p>            “I would ask if you’d fancy a drink but it seems you’ve had too much already.”</p>
<p>            “That wine sneaks up on you,” she hiccupped rather loudly and clapped her hand over her mouth amidst a giggle, an actual giggle that caused her to berate herself.</p>
<p>            “Let me take you home. My sisters would kill me if I didn’t.”</p>
<p>            “No.” She poked her finger into his armor, grimacing. “No.”</p>
<p>            “I already know you’re staying in the alienage, there’s no need to hide it. No one cares.”</p>
<p>            “You’re going to follow me anyway aren’t you?” She glared at him and he nodded.</p>
<p>            “Aye, I am.”</p>
<p>            She let out a dramatic sigh, and tried her best to make it look as though she wasn’t having trouble walking. She was very aware of how close he was standing, and aware that his arm was extended behind her ready to catch her should she fall. She was far too stubborn, though, to accept any help he might offer.</p>
<p>            “Just how many glasses did you have?” He was laughing.</p>
<p>            “Four, but in my defense… They’re awful. Did you know they threw away their youngest son?”</p>
<p>            “Heard a thing or two around, but yes.”</p>
<p>            “How fucked up is that? If my mother ever gave up my siblings I would never have forgiven her… Well… I guess I never really knew my mother.” She uttered, shaking her head. “Don’t ask.”</p>
<p>            “Perhaps another time.”</p>
<p>            “No, no! This is not a ‘thing.’ We are not doing a ‘thing’ here.”</p>
<p>            He was laughing again, and Maker damn him if she didn’t enjoy it. “What are we doing exactly, Hawke?”</p>
<p>            She looked around when he stopped, finding herself in the alienage. She squinted, finding her way down the small street. “We’re doing nothing.” She said, finding him still following her. When they made it to her little house she opened the door. She hadn’t locked it since she took everything she cared to have in her pack. Which Rylen promptly handed to her.</p>
<p>            She crossed her arms in the doorway and he braced his hands on the door jamb. “Are you going to be alright, Hawke? Do you need some company?”</p>
<p>            “I don’t <em>need</em> your company.” She glared up at him.</p>
<p>            “I wasn’t meaning that kind of company though I’m happy to oblige whenever you’re not drunk,” he smirked at her.</p>
<p>            “You think you’re so smooth don’t you?” She stepped closer, but he didn’t move from his spot at the door. It was dark, but she could still see that damn grin of his. “You’re enjoying this.”</p>
<p>            “I think <em>you’re</em> enjoying this.” His voice was low, and she couldn’t help herself. She went in for the kiss she’d been aching to take. Her lips pressed against his, and at first he didn’t respond, until she felt the angle of his mouth against hers. She pulled on his chest plate, trying to lead him inside, but he didn’t budge from his spot. He pulled away from her. “Perhaps when you’re not drunk, lass,” he was breathless, taking one last kiss from her before he stepped back.</p>
<p>            “Sober me won’t be as willing,” she tried to catch her breath. Maker, was that ever a searing kiss. She felt it down her back and to her toes. She wanted the press of his mouth back on hers, but even in her drunken haze she wasn’t going back in for another.</p>
<p>            “Aye, we’ll see about that. I’ll be at the markets tomorrow if you need to talk.”</p>
<p>            She crossed her arms defiantly. “I <em>won’t</em> be at the markets tomorrow. I will be gone.”</p>
<p>            “Uh huh,” he smirked, “we’ll see each other again, lass.” He echoed the same sentiment from earlier. Maker, damn him and his cocky Starkhaven, shit eating grin, she cursed him inwardly, but shut the door instead. She could hear his laughter for but a moment until silence found her alone in the house. She stripped most of her leathers from herself and crawled into bed. Frustration would keep her awake, but she stubbornly refused to ease the ache between her thighs if only to spite the Corporal and his ways. She wouldn’t even give him the satisfaction of getting to her, even if it was only inside her head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NSFW Content ahead.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            The throb in her head was awful and she swore right then and there, flopped in her bed as she was, that she’d never drink again. Wine. She’d never drink <em>wine</em> again. The sun was creeping through the curtains and she tried to pull her blankets over her head. It afforded a bit more time to sleep, but once the heat creeped in she was awake and freshening up.</p>
<p>            She couldn’t recall part of last night, namely how she managed to get herself home, but she had the most annoying dream. Of course the Knight Corporal was in it in all of his snarky glory. But, Maker what a kiss that was. A thought occurred to her and she shook her head. There was no way that could’ve been real…</p>
<p>            Once she was up she was gathering her things up once more. She was leaving today before Rabbie or his family could find her again. He was a sweet guy, but there was no way she wanted to keep being involved in his family matters.</p>
<p>            Once her boots were laced she was back out into the sun, heading out towards the market. A terrible feeling of déjà vu, or whatever the Orlesians called it, suddenly hit her as she came upon the bustling area. She was doing exactly the same the day before, and she stopped in her tracks as well when she spotted Rylen. He wasn’t dressed in his Templar armor, but simply a tunic tucked in to a pair of fitted pants tucked in to boots.</p>
<p>            <em>Maker, take me</em>, she muttered to herself. He looked good. Too good. It almost made her forget that he was a Templar. But he still <em>is,</em> she berated herself. He did say something about having an off day didn’t he? But wait, that… That was only a dream wasn’t it? She pulled her hood over her head, but she was too late, that icy blue gaze found her, and he was making his way towards her.</p>
<p>            “Sobered up enough today?”</p>
<p>            She groaned, “Andraste’s tits that wasn’t a dream?”</p>
<p>            He laughed, rather loudly. “Apologies, Hawke, but you were drunk, not dreaming. You do remember you kissed me?” He was way too proud of that and she waved her hand.</p>
<p>            “Mm, I don’t remember that part. I believe it happened differently.”</p>
<p>            He shook his head. “No, it didn’t. It’s alright, Hawke, I won’t hold it against you.”</p>
<p>            “You said you were the youngest right? Did you always get your way? You did, didn’t you?” She was narrowing her eyes at him.</p>
<p>            “You can ask; my older brother is over there.” He pointed back to another man. They didn’t look too much alike, his hair was lighter, skin not as dark as his but some of their features were the same.</p>
<p>            “You sure that’s your brother?”</p>
<p>            He was laughing once again. “Aye, he is. They all take after our father, I look like my mother. That’s why I’m her favorite.”</p>
<p>            “Hah. Right. You’re adopted, just accept it.”</p>
<p>            “You know, they all tried to tell me that when I was a wee lad. Do all older siblings do that?”</p>
<p>            She let out a snort, “Yes… Yes we do.” She couldn’t count how many times she told Carver he was adopted.</p>
<p>            He waved to his brother who made his way over. “Hawke, this is Roland.”</p>
<p>            “Aye, this is that woman you told us about? The one who saved Lord Rabbie from those bandits, yeah?”</p>
<p>            “Aye, tis her.”</p>
<p>            “Apologies on behalf of this lout. I’m sure he won’t leave you alone. He does that to any poor lass he finds attractive, though there ain’t been many.”</p>
<p>            “Nice job.” She nodded to him.</p>
<p>            “Pardon?”</p>
<p>            “On being his wingman. I’m sure he doesn’t need it.”</p>
<p>            “Is that so?” Roland elbowed his little brother. “Thought you were supposed to be a gentleman, arsehole.”</p>
<p>            Hawke quickly waved her hands. “No! No, that’s not what I meant!”</p>
<p>            “Only kidding, milady.”</p>
<p>            “Did you get the things da needed?” Rylen asked his brother and he nodded.</p>
<p>            “Mmhm, your day off just got busier. I’ll get the boys to help us out. You coming with, Hawke?”</p>
<p>            “Pardon? Oh, no, I’m on my way out. I have to keep moving.”</p>
<p>            Roland furrowed his brow. “What for? The market’s got everything you need.”</p>
<p>            She could see Rylen grinning beside his brother. “No, I meant <em>leaving</em>. For good. It’s been fun but—”</p>
<p>            “Aw what do you mean for good? I thought Ry said you’d been making good with the city folk here. Sounds like you’re doing well so far. You’re already in favor with the Vaels, you’re pretty set here.”</p>
<p>            She shook her head, “No, I need to go.”</p>
<p>            “Nonsense, ma will be thrilled Rylen’s got a pretty lass he’s chatting up. She’d love to meet you. I’m sure our sisters would love to harass you too.”</p>
<p>            “What? No! We barely know each other!” She protested. Her headache was beginning to throb even more at this point. “Maker, take me now.” She grumbled, putting a hand to her forehead. “Are they all like you?”</p>
<p>            “What do you mean? I’m the youngest, I can hardly be blamed.”</p>
<p>            Roland shook his head. “Aye, he’s the youngest, he’s absolutely the blame for everything. Besides, you can get to know him better if you join us. Come, lass, what a day we have planned already.” He grabbed her pack from her back and headed away.</p>
<p>            “Wait, no! Rylen, tell him to bring my stuff back!”</p>
<p>            “Ah, apologies. Older sibling rules you see. You can’t pass up a few good meals. Da makes the best pies.” He followed his brother and she placed her hand to her forehead again. If anything she wanted nothing more than to be indoors to ease this headache. Fine, she’d go hang out with him and his family.</p>
<p>            It was a whirlwind. She wondered if this was how people felt when they met her family, but the thought occurred to her that no one ever did. They kept to themselves, and she realized how lonely it was when she began to meet his family.</p>
<p>            One by one his sisters joined them, saying later that their husbands would be by with their children along with Roland’s wife. Their boys were already there however, and Rylen left her to the wolves as he went off with his brother, father, and nephews to fix whatever it is they needed to fix. One of his sisters eventually joined them as well.</p>
<p>            “Ry’s never brought a lady home,” His mother, Iona said. His sisters, Reagan and Renna were laughing at that notion.</p>
<p>            “He may have never brought one home, but you know he’s been with a few over the years, ma.” Reagan said. She was the oldest of his siblings.</p>
<p>            “I’m not naïve, of course he has. He’s too charming to not have,” she rolled her eyes. “What was your name again dear? Hawke?”</p>
<p>            “Noa Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “You two aren’t really seeing each other are you,” Renna asked, handing her a goblet of water.</p>
<p>            “No!” She said rather quickly causing the girls to laugh. “No offense meant of course, he seems like a lovely man, but I’m not looking for a relationship.”</p>
<p>            “Ah,” Reagan gave her a look, wiggling her brows. “I see.”</p>
<p>            “I’m not looking for that with him either.” The ladies laughed, and Hawke felt the rosiness at her cheeks.</p>
<p>            “He quite likes her, don’t you think?” Renna asked Reagan, and she saw Iona smiling her way. He was right, he did favor his mother. Dark hair and tanned complexion.</p>
<p>            “Of course he does. He wouldn’t have left her in here by herself otherwise.”</p>
<p>            Hawke tried to keep from groaning. “You’re from Ferelden, Noa?” She nodded, “I can see it in your walk, your eyes. Fereldens did always carry a prideful way about them.” Iona beamed at her. “Where is your family? You can’t have seen more than twenty-five years, darling?”</p>
<p>            “I’m twenty-three. I… Family’s a bit touchy of a subject, apologies.”</p>
<p>            “No need. I hope they’re well is all.”</p>
<p>            “They are… I’m not the best of luck, so it’s best I stay away from them for now.”</p>
<p>            “Oh, nonsense,” Iona said. “I can’t believe that to be true.”</p>
<p>            She smiled at the woman, she was so warm and inviting. She felt bad thinking this, but already she felt more from his mother than she did her own. She tried not to frown, continuing to chat with the ladies. His sisters were keen on telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could.</p>
<p>            A bit later and Rylen was back, wiping his hands off on a cloth. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and the sweat had collected at his brow. “Your shed should be good for storage again, ma, and the roof’s patched up.”</p>
<p>            “I’m sorry to put you to work on your day, but getting the lot of you over is hard work. They only show up when you’re around.” Iona said.</p>
<p>            “I could’ve fixed it, dear,” Isaac, his father, said, bending over to give her a sweet kiss to the cheek. She noticed earlier a limp to his walk. It seemed he wasn’t able to work as he used to. He nodded to Hawke, giving her a smile, and she had to wonder just what exactly Rylen told him. He made his way to the kitchen though, and Reagan made her way in with him.</p>
<p>            This was what a home looked like, smelled like, she decided. They moved around far too much for any place to be called such. She almost longed for something like this, but the thought of settling down and having children made her stomach turn. It was certainly not something she wanted, and she didn’t know why Rylen would bring her here if he didn’t think he could eventually have something like this with her.</p>
<p>            Barely three weeks have passed and she only saw him perhaps a handful of times. Sure their banter was great, but what exactly did he see in her? He hadn’t tried to sleep with her, yet he already made his opinion on the matter quite clear if she recalled last night correctly. He would sleep with her if she wanted to sleep with him. Further than that she had no idea of his intentions. Perhaps he only wanted something casual, but why on Thedas would he bring her to meet his family?</p>
<p>            She couldn’t deny the evening was quite lovely, his family was wonderful. She was outside with him, he sat atop the stone wall that surrounded their midsized property. She wandered around his yard until she hefted herself up beside him. The moons were beginning to shine, and the chilly night felt wonderful.</p>
<p>            “Tell me, Rylen, why on Thedas did you bring me here to meet your family? We barely know each other.”</p>
<p>            “Promise you won’t get mad at me for the answer.”</p>
<p>            She huffed, “Why would I be mad?”</p>
<p>            “I thought you could use the company. I won’t lie, Hawke, I fancy you, I’m sure that’s been quite obvious. But you seemed… Lonely is all. I gather that you have siblings, that you miss them. I’m not the brightest, but I’m not stupid. I’ve watched my siblings, I know when to see something like that.”</p>
<p>            Her lips parted as she looked upon him. He was gazing up at the moons. “That’s… Very kind of you.” She was quiet after that. She’d never had someone who wasn’t her family be so thoughtful.</p>
<p>            “I don’t know what happened to you, Hawke, although I’m certain it was mostly bad. If you ever need someone, my family is here. It doesn’t matter what goes on between us, if anything does. They like you.”</p>
<p>            Silence spanned between them a beat until she took a breath. “I learned something before I left them in Kirkwall,” she found herself saying. “I fear it could change our family for the worst. Yet… I suppose I did what my father taught me best. I ran away from the problem. If he were here I would… I would’ve throttled him.”</p>
<p>            “You were close to him?”</p>
<p>            “Yes, we were… Mother used to say that Kahlan and I could get away with anything in his eyes. He shouldn’t have kept secrets from me. Until a couple months ago I didn’t think he did.”</p>
<p>            “What else made you leave Kirkwall, Hawke? You could’ve stayed, but you left.”</p>
<p>            “Well, that tale is a little more farfetched.” She pulled her knee up to her chest. “We fled Lothering when we returned from Ostagar. The Darkspawn were hot on our heels. I nearly got my baby sister killed, and if it wasn’t for <em>the</em> Witch of the Wilds herself, we would’ve all died. She told me that if I went to Kirkwall it’d only end badly for me. As much as I tried to persuade them we should keep moving past Kirkwall… Our mother was adamant about staying since her brother still lives there. Trying to reclaim her old life of wealth she gave up for family.”</p>
<p>            “What a tale that is.”</p>
<p>            She smirked at him, “You don’t believe a word I said do you?”</p>
<p>            “I do believe you.”</p>
<p>            “No you don’t,” she chuckled, but when she looked back at him she saw he was serious. She smiled at him, looking up at the moons high above him. She let out a sigh, tossing a pebble to the ground. “Shouldn’t you be heading back to the barracks?”</p>
<p>            “In the morn. Can I walk you back to your home?”</p>
<p>            She scoffed, but couldn’t help but laughing. “Sure, but only because you’ve been so nice.” She slid down off the wall after he did. The walk wasn’t so far, and she found herself wanting to stay in his presence. Perhaps all Templars weren’t so bad, but… She didn’t <em>want</em> to have feelings for him, but Maker be damned he made it difficult for her not to catch them.</p>
<p>            Once back to her house she leaned on the door, déjà vu hitting her once more. She pulled on his shirt, pulled him closer to her, till he pressed her to the door. His mouth was on hers, his lips as plush as she thought they’d be against her own. She pulled his shirt from his pants, sliding her fingers against the warmth of his skin. She felt the scars he bore, one at his side, and one at his lower back. She dipped lower and found a scar slid down his ass to his thigh.</p>
<p>            He smiled against her lips, and she chuckled low. “I wonder how you got that one?”</p>
<p>            “Roland pushed me off the roof.” She laughed loudly, her head hitting the door which caused her to laugh even more. His face buried into her neck as he joined her laughter, and he was kissing his way up her throat and back to her lips. “Your hands are still wandering,” he noted, and she smirked against his kiss as he pressed his thumb to her chin. Her mouth opened in response, his tongue slid in to touch hers and the air around them practically smoldered. She was tired of the slowness of this, she wanted him in her small bed, and she wanted him now.</p>
<p>            She opened the door behind her causing him to stumble into her. They laughed, and she pulled him along to her room as she took off her leathers.</p>
<p>            “What’s the rush, lass,” he breathed when she pulled his shirt off then went for his pants.</p>
<p>            “We wouldn’t want you to be late to work in the morning, now would we?”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, taking her shirt off too. “They won’t notice a little tardiness.” He assured her, lowering her down to her bed. He was kissing her, trying his best to find an angle to lie on the small piece of furniture. “Are you sure this is a bed?”</p>
<p>            “My feet hang off of it.” He laughed when she said that, trailing his mouth down her throat. He sucked at her nipple, and she ran her fingers through his hair. It was as soft as she thought it would be.</p>
<p>            “The owner must’ve been on the shorter side of the elven build,” she sighed, feeling his calloused hand moving over her other breast and squeezing. His thumb worked over her sensitive peak, and he switched to suck that one into his mouth as well.</p>
<p>            His hands were wonderful. Large, weathered. She wouldn’t expect less from the son of a stonemason and from wielding a sword. His hand travelled lower and she opened for him, arching her back when he slid his middle finger between her folds. She bit back a moan as his mouth lingered between her breasts.</p>
<p>            “Enjoying yourself?” She felt the smile of his lips.</p>
<p>            “Oh, don’t ruin the mood with your cockiness.” She inhaled sharply as he continue to stroke her. “You’re intent upon dragging this out.”</p>
<p>            He chuckled, “where’s the rush?”</p>
<p>            “I’m not used to… this,” she breathed, “oh!”</p>
<p>            “A boy will simply fuck. I’m not a boy, lass.”</p>
<p>            He swirled his finger and she gripped the sheets, back arching again as he found that good spot. He stopped however, and she let out a groan.</p>
<p>            “Tease,” she gasped, and he chuckled.</p>
<p>            “Just enjoy me, Hawke.” He found her lips, kissing her, and she draped her leg over his waist, trying to ease his hips closer. When she grabbed his length she felt him falter a moment, it was her turn to smirk, but he groaned through a laugh.</p>
<p>            “Did any of your pretty lasses know what to do with you?” She slid her hand over him, his length hot and hard in her palm. “Know where to touch you?” She slid her thumb over the tip of him and he gasped, pulling her hand away.</p>
<p>            “Perhaps not,” he panted, kissing the breath away from her. “Don’t think you’re winning here, Hawke.” She was grinning against his lips wrapping her arms around his neck.</p>
<p>            “Oh, I think I’ve already won.” She laughed, low, breath hitching in her throat when she felt the tip of him. He was slow, deliberate, and taking his sweet ass time. “Damn it, Rylen.”</p>
<p>            “I’m sorry,” he grunted, “were you needing something, Hawke?” He was laughing into her neck, trying to restrain himself. He slipped into her, and she felt her back arch out of her control. He rocked in the rest of the way, his hips meeting hers for a moment before he was nearly out of her then back. There was something about his slow and steady pace that drove her insane in the best way he could. She usually didn’t care to make this last, she was more than happy to fuck them and leave as soon as she got her pleasure. He was too attentive, too thoughtful, yet it was in all the best ways possible. Maker, he was intent on ruining her low standards.</p>
<p>            He pulled her leg up, hooking his arm behind her knee in the crook of his elbow and began to slide into her at this angle. She moaned, quite enjoying herself. It wasn’t until she felt the quickening in his pace did she realize she was practically floating in bliss. She reached down to stroke herself, and she felt so close to her release.</p>
<p>            The moans that left him were music to her ears, further turning her on to hear him enjoying himself as much as she was. She felt herself rushing to that peak, grabbing on to him, and he pressed his hips into hers, grinding. She cried out, unable to help the blissful feeling that overcame her. With another thrust he was there, groaning, body tense as he spent himself. She finally felt herself relax, holding him against her for a spell.</p>
<p>            She began to laugh, panting, she was absolutely spent, but, Maker, she felt so good. His mouth was on hers, kissing the laughter from her. He was smiling.</p>
<p>            “That wasn’t so bad now was it? Even for a Templar?”</p>
<p>            “Oh, don’t remind me,” she kissed him back running her fingers through his hair. “I can pretend you’re not one when you’re naked like this.”</p>
<p>            “Will that be your requirement from now on,” he rumbled.</p>
<p>            “I would say yes, but I’m sure nothing embarrasses you does it?”</p>
<p>            “Not much. The people might enjoy the show. The Knight Commander may not appreciate it again though.”</p>
<p>            She let out a huff trying to keep from laughing more, but failing miserably. She couldn’t recall a time she’d laughed like this, and certainly not in bed with a man that was still inside of her. As much as she enjoyed this, she knew she couldn’t make it last. She smiled at him though as he situated himself beside her. It didn’t feel awkward, which was another reason it scared her to death. Feelings weren’t good. Feelings meant attachment and attachments meant she wouldn’t want to leave.</p>
<p>            When she was thirteen she thought she loved a boy and was so upset when they had to run again. She knew now it was stupid and naïve, but at the time her little heart was broken. Now she looked at this man and couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to go back for seconds. And not seconds within the night, but in a few days. A week or so. Thirds, and fourths.</p>
<p>            “You’ve really no space in this ridiculous bed, Hawke.” He complained, and she shrugged as she grabbed the blankets that fell to the floor.</p>
<p>            “It serves its purpose.” She propped herself up on her elbow as she laid on her side, looking down at him. She stroked her thumb over the mottled scars at his cheeks, wondering if they were pock marks from a time he was sick or something else perhaps. “You don’t have to stay. It’s barely tolerable for one, this isn’t exactly going to work for two.”</p>
<p>            “Trying to get rid of me, hm?” He raised a brow.</p>
<p>            “Stay or don’t stay, it matters not to me.” She shrugged, tracing her finger alongside his nose. “You’ve an interesting tattoo here.”</p>
<p>            “Stupid bet, really. Goaded on by my brother when we were drunk.”</p>
<p>            “But of course.”</p>
<p>            “It’s alright, he’s a tattoo on his arse. His former girlfriend’s name.” She nearly choked when he said that, unable to keep her laughter at bay. “I think I was on the better end of that particular bet. His wife hates it.”</p>
<p>            She had to wipe tears from her eyes and felt his fingers at her side. The moons’ light shown in just enough to see each other. “Aye, what’s this here?”</p>
<p>            “Well, when my father died I had his full name tattooed. Thought it was a decent way to honor him. To carry him with me. And my brother and I decided while we were at Ostagar to get more tattoos. He chose a Mabari, I decided to put the rest of their names.”</p>
<p>            He trailed his fingers down her ribs and she shivered at his touch. He stopped when his fingers caught the scar right underneath Carver’s name. “This wasn’t so long ago.”</p>
<p>            “Also Ostagar. Thought I was going to turn into a ghoul.” She was quiet at that, and saw the way his light blue hues gleamed in the moonlight. She trailed her finger back over the bridge of his nose. It curved slightly, somewhat abnormally. She wondered if he broke it. She dipped back down to kiss him. She didn’t know if this would be the last time she’d do this with him. Afterall, she planned to leave tomorrow. Again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NSFW Content ahead.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            The months began to pass and the summer heat was atrocious here. It wasn’t as terrible as she thought it would be, but coming from the cold she wasn’t a fan of this climate.</p>
<p>            Why she was still here was another reason altogether, one that she couldn’t seem to figure out. Somehow the Captain of the Guard, Finley, had managed to rope her into helping them out when need be, sort of a civilian helper. In exchange she was allotted supplies and food, which she gave most of it to the elves who’d welcomed her into the alienage.</p>
<p>            She didn’t know how she’d become the guards own personal merc, but apparently they were fine with that. She was able to do what she pleased, and earn coin in odd places while she wandered the city doing odd jobs for its citizens. She was their eyes without the people knowing. All they knew was that this Ferelden refugee was for hire to do odd jobs, no matter how frivolous.</p>
<p>            She planned to disappear. Once Rylen planted a sweet kiss to her lips in the early hours of that morning and made his leave, she packed her things up once again. Unfortunately she didn’t make it farther than the market. If there was another way out of the city from where she was coming she would’ve taken it, because apparently everyone thought they could intercept her at the market midday.</p>
<p>            She was on her way to delivering some spices for an elder couple when a guard found her, Rabbie in tow. His options for some sort of freedom were either a guard’s escort or her. His family still seemed to take a liking to her despite how many times she tried to be an ass to them. Apparently they got a kick out of it when they were drunk off their wine.</p>
<p>            Once she was done with her errand, they’d found their way up onto the wall of the city. She rather liked perching herself up here. Rabbie was tossing pebbles off the other side towards the river, and she was looking out over the city.</p>
<p>            “I thought you were leaving again,” Rabbie teased. “Is there some reason you’re sticking around?”</p>
<p>            “Well, I have no where else to go. And who else is going to look after the Princeling?”</p>
<p>            “You know this is absolutely ridiculous. I can’t believe they’re still having me followed. I’m twenty-six for the Maker’s sake.”</p>
<p>            She leaned against the wall. “Well, you were the one who left your own birthday party then almost got kidnapped by slavers.”</p>
<p>            “Yes, but… I’m not a child, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “I know. Yet you were born with certain responsibilities.”</p>
<p>            “I’ve been training with the guard since I was fifteen you know? I can take care of myself.” He almost sounded unsure of himself; he threw another rock out towards the river. “They were never really sure of what to do with me. I’m not the first born like Gavin. And his son is the next in line, thank Andraste. I think they would’ve been fine handing me over to the Chantry. Unfortunately, such was Seb’s fate. Both of them were better at fighting than me. I was always the quiet one, my nose in books.”</p>
<p>            “Rabbie, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with <em>you</em>. Whatever expectations you think you have according to your parents… it means nothing. You’re an adult, your brother holds the title. If you want to bury your nose in books there are plenty of scholars out there who would readily accept your presence.”</p>
<p>            He offered her a smile. “You’re a good person, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            “Nonsense.”</p>
<p>            “No, really. You are. You may not think it, but you’re the older sister people need. Perhaps I will. I’ll need a bodyguard. If you tire of your hired helper ways here in Starkhaven.”</p>
<p>            She chuckled joining him on his side. “I’ll leave someday.”</p>
<p>            “Perhaps I’ll join Sebastian in the chantry.”</p>
<p>            “Really? You think you’re cut out for that?”</p>
<p>            “Not quite, but… I miss him. Every day. Older brothers are supposed to be the ones who get their younger siblings in trouble but that was Sebastian for you.”</p>
<p>            “Write to him.”</p>
<p>            “But would he even want to hear from me?”</p>
<p>            “You’ll never know if you don’t try.” She looked down at the river below.</p>
<p>            “I’ll do it if you do. Your siblings are pissed I’m sure, but you owe it to them to tell them you’re alive.”</p>
<p>            She knew he was right. She should, but what was she supposed to say?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            The moons were shining brightly up in the sky as the warmth of the night touched her skin. Summer was beginning to wane; she couldn’t fathom how much time she’d spent here already. She wasn’t sure why she was still here. It was easy she supposed, but as each day passed she felt more and more compelled to truly leave the city and head to Kirkwall despite Flemeth’s omen.</p>
<p>            What did she know anyway? Was she really all seeing and knowing? Did the witch really have a tight grasp on what the future held? Some of the tales said she did.</p>
<p>            She was sitting around on the ground of the deserted market, almost willing either of her friends to appear so she could have… <em>someone</em> to talk to. She knew Rylen said that she was welcome at his folks’ house any time, but the months had rolled by, and she barely saw him. He was busy, he didn’t have much time to himself that wasn’t devoted to the Order.</p>
<p>            When they did see each other, it was still fun. She smiled to herself. She wasn’t sure what they were exactly, but it wasn’t much. Yet, it was more than enough for her. She needed her siblings, though. Kahlan most of all, they grew up side by side as close as two sisters could be. She still hadn’t sent the letters. They were written now, but even in script she wasn’t sure if she could face them.</p>
<p>            She quickly stood. <em>Maker, damn it all to hell.</em> She was going to go and that was that. She wasn’t supposed to be scared, or timid. Where had this woman come from? She faced all the danger head on no matter what it took. If she were to face danger in Kirkwall then so be it. She would do so with her siblings. She could do anything when she had them.</p>
<p>            The next day she made her way up to the palace. If anything she needed to tell Rabbie goodbye, and good luck, before she truly left. The guards let her inside, she was a frequent visitor and was allowed to come and go as she pleased at this point. She wandered the halls, trying to find her way to the library, knowing that was where he spent most of his time these days.</p>
<p>            <em>What is this letter supposed to be, father?</em> She heard Gavin’s muffled voice behind a door.</p>
<p>            <em>You know it’s another frivolous attempt to scare us is all.</em></p>
<p>            <em>One of these days we’ll have to pay attention to these threats. Who knows who could be lurking.</em></p>
<p>            She pondered on that, passing by. She didn’t wish ill upon the family but it was something they would need to deal with. She wasn’t volunteering for the family body guard position either. She rounded another curve and Rabbie came into her sights, nose buried in a book. He glanced up and offered a smile.</p>
<p>            “My friend, what’re you doing here? You don’t usually venture inside on your own free will,” he chuckled.</p>
<p>            “I’m leaving, Rabbie.” He was about to tell her she was full of shite. How many times had she said it over the last nine months? Plenty, and they all turned out to be false. Yet, the day was quite early, and her gear was packed at her back and ready to go. She looked serious this time.</p>
<p>            “Truly? Where are you going?”</p>
<p>            “To Kirkwall. I must go to my family.”</p>
<p>            “You’re leaving now? Can’t you give it a day?” He pouted.</p>
<p>            “This is why I haven’t left so far, my friend. You all do this and persuade me to stay.”</p>
<p>            He frowned, arms crossing over his chest. “What of your friend the Knight Corporal?”</p>
<p>            “What of him?” She shrugged.</p>
<p>            “You two seemed quite chummy. You’re going to leave without telling him goodbye?”</p>
<p>            She thought long and hard about whether or not she should tell him goodbye. On one hand she was worried that if he joked and persuaded hard enough he could get her to stay. Again. And again. She wasn’t stupid to see how smitten she was with him. It was precisely why she knew it was a bad idea to see him again before she left.</p>
<p>            “Look, Rabbie, it’s been a fun almost year, but it really is time that I leave. I haven’t seen my family in far too long.”</p>
<p>            “Well, if you’re going to Kirkwall… Can you deliver a letter to Sebastian for me?”</p>
<p>            “Of course.” She followed him to his chambers and he pulled out an envelope from his nightstand. He handed it to her and she put it inside her pack.</p>
<p>            “As far as I know he’s at the chantry still… That’s what mother says. If not I’m sure the Grand Cleric will point you in the right direction.”</p>
<p>            He followed after her. He seemed intent upon showing her out the city before she left. When they came upon the markets there were people shouting, some happy, and some even engaging in merriment.</p>
<p>            “What’s going on?” She wondered aloud and Rabbie shrugged his shoulders.</p>
<p>            “Hawke! Hawke!!” One of the city guards found her. His face was alight with joy. He was one of the few she met who had family that came from Ferelden. “Did you hear?” She shook her head. “The Blight is over! Maker, praise the Grey Wardens. It’s over!”</p>
<p>            “What?” She felt the air leave her lungs. “It’s barely been almost a year!”</p>
<p>            “I know, it’s unbelievable! They said a great battle raged over Denerim and there were two lone Grey Wardens who slew the archdemon! We must celebrate.”</p>
<p>            All thoughts of leaving left her, and she was following the crowd to a tavern. She could go home. She would head to Kirkwall and convince them they had to go back to Ferelden. Rabbie joined her in her revelry, and they drank and ate for hours until the night was beginning to fall.</p>
<p>            There weren’t too many people out celebrating, there were barely a bit of refugees and only perhaps a handful with ties to her homeland. But she felt happiness at the thought that it was over. She didn’t know what it would mean for her home, but she could go back and rebuild, perhaps finally make a proper life for her family.</p>
<p>            Rabbie left her a while ago, escorted home of course by a palace guard who came to fetch him. He made her promise that she wouldn’t officially leave without telling him. That he required at least one more day together before she left for good. She would miss him, and as if her thoughts manifested the other man she would miss she heard his voice right behind her.</p>
<p>            “I see you heard the news.” When she turned to face him she was greeted with a fading smile that turned into a frown. “Were you off somewhere?”</p>
<p>            “I was going to tell you,” she lied, shifting her pack at her back. “Then I heard the news.”</p>
<p>            He looked saddened a moment, trying to brush it off. “You don’t have to lie to me, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            A beat of silence splayed between them. “I’m not good with goodbyes.”</p>
<p>            “I know we haven’t seen each other much, but didn’t you think I deserved to know?”</p>
<p>            “You did… So did they…” She was referring to her family and he knew that.</p>
<p>            “You can’t always keep running.”</p>
<p>            She nodded, throwing her hands up in a shrug. “I’m here now.”</p>
<p>            “Yet for how long?”</p>
<p>            “The day after tomorrow.” She told him, and he slowly nodded.</p>
<p>            “So soon?”</p>
<p>            “Rylen, if I don’t go now… I’ll keep doing this over and over,” she motioned to her pack. “I have to go.”</p>
<p>            “Aye, I know, lass. I just… thought we had more time. I can’t ask you to stay. Your place isn’t here, waiting for me. Nor is mine here waiting for you.”</p>
<p>            She eased closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m free tonight.”</p>
<p>            “Are you now?” His mood perked up, and her own spirits were lifting as they drifted away from an uncomfortable realization. “So come have dinner with us?” She was left winded, not expecting that. She was expecting a romp in the alleyway with how their mood had simmered.</p>
<p>            He was laughing, grabbing her hand and leading her onward. “Asshole.” She glared at him and he pulled her hand up to his face, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.</p>
<p>            “I prefer to think I’m a gentleman.”</p>
<p>            “Would a gentleman leave a girl hanging?”</p>
<p>            “When one is so easy to tease? Yes. I believe a gentleman would.”</p>
<p>            It was a lovely evening to sit down with Iona and Isaac. His parents were wonderful people, so welcoming and loving. They doted on all their children and grandchildren. There were so many stories they told, and always a new one each time.</p>
<p>            “Are you heading back to Ferelden,” Iona asked her, a sad twinkle in her eye betraying the smile on her face.</p>
<p>            “I would like to. It’s always been my home.” Hawke responded, and saw his mother pass a sad look Rylen’s way. She felt sorry that they liked her so much.</p>
<p>            “We’ll miss you, darling.”</p>
<p>            “Thank you for your hospitality. I’m sad to admit that I’ve never known people to be kind like this. We ran so much when I was younger. We never got to know other families.”</p>
<p>            “What a pity. I hope we’ve set a good example. That Rylen’s been a proper gentleman.” Iona glared at her son and Hawke felt the heat rise in her cheeks.</p>
<p>            “Ma,” he groaned.</p>
<p>            “You’ve all ruined my low standards.” She gave them all a sincere look, even giving Rylen the same one. A small, cheeky smile spread to his lips, and he had to cover his mouth with his hand.</p>
<p>            They all talked in the living area until his parents finally retired to their room. She eyed Rylen from her seat, and he rose. “If you’re not tired…” He smirked at her, and she followed him up the stairs.</p>
<p>            Once inside his room she waited till he closed the door before she spoke. “So, this is your room hm?” She looked around. It was small, his bed wasn’t much bigger than her own back in the alienage, but it was longer to accommodate his height. Granted it wasn’t as if he used this room much any longer when he had a place in the barracks at the tower.</p>
<p>            “Mine and Roland’s. Well, I suppose mostly mine. He was out of the house at eighteen. So I had it for about four years until I joined the Order.” She made a face which caused him to chuckle. “I’m not wearing the gear, lass, no need to give me that face.”</p>
<p>            She softly laughed. “You’re not bad for a Templar. I’ll admit to that. Yet… You aren’t naked.”</p>
<p>            He grinned, “Neither are you.” She waltzed her way over to him, pulling his shirt and tugging him to sit on his bed. She pulled it off and felt his hands at her hips. He was unlacing the leather pieces she wore, as she was still in her travelling garb. He was deliberately ignoring her gaze, and she watched him, mesmerized, as he stripped her down to her tunic and pants.</p>
<p>            He pulled her shirt from her pants, pushing it up enough to kiss her stomach; she ran her fingers through his hair. He was slow again, and she didn’t know if she could handle simple and sweet tonight. Not when she was trying to make herself leave, while he was doing his best to quietly convince her to stay. She pulled his shirt off, straddling his lap, and pressed her lips to his in hunger.</p>
<p>            She swallowed the groan from his mouth as she ground her hips into his, sneaking her hand down into his pants to stroke him. His moan was quiet, breathy pants escaping him as she kissed down his throat to the freckles at his neck. He stood them up and she succeeded at lighting the fire underneath him. He hugged her from behind, stripping her down, hand reaching to stroke her as she pressed her palms against the wall. His lips were at her shoulder, and she finally felt the ease of him into her core.</p>
<p>            She whimpered at his slow thrusts, trying to will herself to stop thinking what it might be like to continue this. However, even he knew there was no point to this. He belonged to the chantry, the Templar Order. There wasn’t much of a place for her in his life, and there was certainly no place for a Templar in hers. She hadn’t told him about her sisters, but she knew that he figured it out. Her distaste for Templars wasn’t for nothing. He didn’t seem to care about that, however. She still wondered how he was a Templar with such an easy-going way about him.</p>
<p>            She bit back a moan, heard him gasp behind her. His hips quickened their pace, hand moving back down to stroke her and she was done for, shattering against him as he chased his own release. He came hard with her, hand bracing against the wall while his other arm clutched her tight to his chest. His breath gusted against her neck, and he trailed a line of hot open kisses over her shoulder.</p>
<p>            They found themselves in his bed, and to her everlasting surprise she didn’t mind the closeness they shared each time. Her head lay on his outstretched arm, his hand playing with her hair while her fingers trailed across his chest connecting each freckle. His eyes were closed, he was resting them he said.</p>
<p>            “I wish you the best, Noa…” He mumbled quietly. Why did it sting so much to feel like this was final?</p>
<p>            “Stop persuading me to stay…” She planted a kiss against the tip of his nose. He smiled.</p>
<p>            “Aye, lass, there’s no stopping you. There never was. It was a bit of fun though, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>            She chuckled softly. “No, not at all. So much so that I kept coming back to make sure you would never be fun.”</p>
<p>            His laugh rumbled in his chest, his hand finding hers. “You’re welcome to come back.”</p>
<p>            She let out a sigh, stealing a kiss from those plush lips. “Find a wife, Rylen… One who won’t give you trouble.”</p>
<p>            He brought her fingers to his lips, his eyes finding hers. “There’ll be none of that for me. That life was never in the cards.”</p>
<p>            “Why ever not? I’ve heard of Templars with families.”</p>
<p>            “I’ve given myself to the Order. What kind of lonely life is that for a lass and a wee babe?”</p>
<p>            She snorted, “Then leave?”</p>
<p>            He chuckled sadly, “One doesn’t simply leave the Order. By the time you begin to regret your decisions there’s not much turning back. It’s alright. I’ve made my peace. I’m good at it, and my charges trust me. If I can be a bit of a bright light to those who need help, are scared, rather than the shite they take from other bastards… I’ll stay, and I’ll be that for them. I’ll protect them from the ugly ones.”</p>
<p>            “There’s no shortage of trapped souls in this world.” She watched as he stroked her fingers with his thumb.</p>
<p>            “Aye… We do what we can.”</p>
<p>            His eyes were half-lidded, he let go of her fingers to drape his hand over her waist. She palmed his cheek, thumb stroking underneath his eye. “Run away with me then.” She laughed at the notion herself, but the look he gave her was serious.</p>
<p>            “There’s no outrunning the chantry.”</p>
<p>            “I don’t know… We’ve done a fairly decent job of it most of my life.”</p>
<p>            “Mages and Templars aren’t so much different. The only difference is the power the chantry gives us. They hold the leash still. It’s tight. Unforgiving.”</p>
<p>            She realized that though she met her fair share of asshole Templars, deplorable degenerates that deserved the most wicked of punishments that there were people like Rylen within its ranks. She had to remember that her father was set free because of one. The chantry wouldn’t change if the people continued to fear mages, but if there were people like Rylen, and Ser Maurevar Carver within it then there was hope that all the circles had pieces of goodness within, doing their best to help whom they could.</p>
<p>            However she would fight tooth and nail to keep her sisters from being subjected to a life within the circle.</p>
<p>            “Rylen, do me a favor.”</p>
<p>            “Anything for you, Noa…” He said sleepily.</p>
<p>            “Continue to protect your charges. No matter what. Just… try not to get yourself killed in the process.”</p>
<p>            He chuckled softly, pulling her closer to his chest. “I promise. As long as you promise not to forget that this Templar wasn’t a bad one.”</p>
<p>            She lightly huffed, smile on her face as she kissed him. “What did we say about mentioning that you were the ‘T’ word in bed?”</p>
<p>            “Oh, but, lass, have you forgotten?” He kissed her back, his hands beginning to wander over her hip. “I’m still naked.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hate myself for this chapter T-T</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            “Do you have to leave tomorrow?”</p>
<p>            She looked over at Rabbie from her spot on the wall. The clouds covered the sun today, and she felt rain in the air. She hoped it would be over before she left tomorrow. If she had to delay her journey yet again she would be livid.</p>
<p>            “It’s time to grow up, Rabbie.” She played with him.</p>
<p>            “I can’t help it if my folks want to prevent another ‘embarrassment’ in the family. Do you know how hard it is to date?”</p>
<p>            “You date?” She chuckled when he made a face.</p>
<p>            “Perhaps not… I never really enjoyed that aspect of court… Although, I believe my mother and father are mostly happy that I’ve not added any heirs to the mix. Admittedly that never really interested me. Gavin lived up to the first son role rather perfectly. I suppose they lucked out.”</p>
<p>            “You would make a better Prince.” She patted his cheek. “You care about people.”</p>
<p>            He snorted, “Hell… Sebastian in all his unbridled chaos would’ve made a better Prince than our father. You know, he only did what he did because he was the youngest? He said why should we care when we weren’t going to be Prince someday. Maybe it didn’t matter for him, but since I was second I was always that possible contingency prize, that <em>just in case</em> something happened to Gavin. They treated Seb as expendable. But me? <em>Just in case</em>.”</p>
<p>            What a sad childhood he must’ve had. Sebastian thrown away at sixteen. Rabbie feeling inferior but just useful enough. She thought she was screwed up. At least she wasn’t born to a noble family. She could thank the powers at be for that.</p>
<p>            “All the better for you to travel to… Val Royeaux. Attend the college there. Leave this place behind.”</p>
<p>            He smiled, “You’ve plenty of bright ideas, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            She frowned though when she thought of something. Finn had been on edge lately. There were rumors of a mercenary group in the city, but she hadn’t seen anything unusual. She frequented each of the taverns in town. There weren’t any people that looked out of place, but she thought of what she overheard his brother and father say.</p>
<p>            “Did your father mention anything about threatening letters?”</p>
<p>            “He did, but it’s not the first, nor I’m sure the last.”</p>
<p>            “You should leave sooner rather than later. Pitch to your parents that you want to head to Val Royeaux for the good of the family ties to the chantry. Go there, and stay.”</p>
<p>            His laugh was uneasy. “Why do you say that as if you know something?”</p>
<p>            “I don’t… Just a bad feeling. The Captain of the Guard has been on edge and it does nothing for my own nerves. I don’t want to see one of my only friends get hurt.”</p>
<p>            “Nah,” he fiddled with his tunic. “I’m not important enough for that.” Before she could say anything else he turned to slide off the wall. “Let’s do something fun. Day drinking or whatever. Anything else but speaking of my family woes. Again.” He smiled at her and she followed after him.</p>
<p>            What fun they found was inside the Bleakhaven Tavern down in the Shallows. A few drinks in and she and Rabbie were dancing to the tune of the fiddler who always seemed to be there. By midafternoon, she found herself feeling more uneasy.</p>
<p>            They were in their seats in her corner, and everyone who so much as glanced their way made her feel like she had a target on her back. It was probably nothing, just a combination of her overprotective elder sister feelings with the dread she always bore when leaving another place she somewhat enjoyed. Rabbie felt like another younger sibling to her. She wanted to see him safe and happy. She wanted him to leave Starkhaven no matter the veil of safety it seemed to have surrounding it. It was a lovely city, yet no matter how safe a place was it always had its dangerous parts.</p>
<p>            She felt that familiar prick at the back of her neck, the one she got when she felt as if she was in trouble. There weren’t many paying them too much mind, but despite trying to avoid this feeling earlier it was making her feel anxious now.</p>
<p>            “Let’s head out. Perhaps cause some raucous uptown,” she suggested, and Rabbie nodded at that notion.</p>
<p>            “Always happy to cause the folks a proper headache.” He grabbed her hand and led her out, and they were up the street and out of the Shallows in what she thought was record time. “What will you do when you get to Kirkwall, Hawke?”</p>
<p>            “Oh, I don’t know,” she bobbed her head, keeping her eyes and ears open for anything just in case despite the ill feeling backing off. “Probably make a proper ass of myself. I’m sure Carver will hit me. I expect angry tears from Bethany. Mother will… Probably chastise me for abandoning the family. Kahlan… She’ll give me that disappointed look. It’ll hurt the most.”</p>
<p>            “Maybe you should bring them gifts?”</p>
<p>            She laughed, “I don’t see what I could possibly give them since mother was supposed to rejoin the Amell clan. I’m sure they’re living it up in… Whatever the rich snotty part of that city is.”</p>
<p>            “Hightown. It’s exactly as you think it is. You should see the Chantry there. It’s even bigger than the Viscount’s palace. It’s rather disgusting when you think about it. I’m sure all of Lowtown and the alienage could be housed in the chantry. For all they preach about helping people I’m sure they’re the same as ours.”</p>
<p>            She laughed, “I didn’t expect you to be so critical of the chantry.”</p>
<p>            “I’m not blind. I believe in Andraste, the Maker. I pray… I ask forgiveness, but I’m not blind to what power does to people. Especially those hiding behind their faith. I know the Grand Cleric is good at heart. She means well, but I’m sure she’s exactly like the rest. Ignoring the plight of those beneath her. Of the struggles your father went through, what your sisters go through.”</p>
<p>            She nodded, “Rabbie… Thank you. Your friendship has meant a lot to me over this year.” He smiled and she gave him a proper hug before pulling back. If she hugged him too much longer she’d be even more persuaded to stay. It was hard enough leaving Rylen earlier this morning. His tight embrace turned her to a puddle of goo she had to quickly recover from.</p>
<p>            Before he could say anything a swift blow knocked them off their feet, an explosion crackling throughout the city.        She felt dazed, her head ringing, and she placed a hand on Rabbie to make sure he was there.</p>
<p>            “Maker, what the hell was that,” he spoke as he pushed himself up to stand.</p>
<p>            “Where did that come from?” She stood up as well, beginning to see flames licking into the sky in the near distance.</p>
<p>            “Is that… was that the Circle?” His eyes were wide and immediately she felt her heart sink. She bolted up the pathway amidst Rabbie’s cries.</p>
<p>            “Hawke, wait!” She heard in the distance, but she couldn’t help it. She was running as fast as she could, finding her way through the city she’d come to call home this past year. The smoke was beginning to reach her, and she had to stop when the coughing started. Her eyes were burning and she pulled her shirt over her nose before she continued forward.</p>
<p>            She came across the chaos mere moments later, there were people running away, Templars shouting and trying to chorale the mages who were attempting to flee. People were burned, dazed, and she looked for the only man she cared about seeing hale and whole.</p>
<p>            “Get some damn buckets, now! We aren’t going to stand around and smite the ashes for heresy you Maker forsaken fools! Get some buckets! Water! NOW!” She heard his voice and immediately she felt at ease. Where was he though?</p>
<p>            “Rylen,” she called out, coughing, not sure of his location. Then she saw him come into view.</p>
<p>            “Hawke, what’re you doing here?” He grabbed her, seemed to be looking her over.</p>
<p>            “I’m fine,” she told him, but she could make out scarring at his neck. It looked like he had some cuts, and pieces of his armor were gone. There were burns at his shoulder and neck, and fresh scars on his face with blood pouring down it. “What happened?”</p>
<p>            “We’re not sure,” he was breathless, still holding onto her. “Someone said they saw someone milling about the circle today dressed in odd clothing. We didn’t think much of it. We know our mages didn’t do this.”</p>
<p>            She couldn’t get a thought out of her head as she watched city guards pour in with buckets trying their best to suffocate the flames. Senior mages were casting water spells as well. What if…?</p>
<p>            “Who’s protecting the palace?” She said to him, but another thought rocked her. She left Rabbie all on his own, and though she knew he knew how to fight he was still alone away from the palace and guards. He was supposed to be in her care. “Rabbie…” She breathed, and tore from Rylen’s grip.</p>
<p>            “Wait! Damn it, Hawke!” She heard Rylen behind her, but he must’ve gone back to helping with the fire for she heard his cries no longer. She was choking on smoke but she had to get back to Rabbie. She heard something, and she turned down another alley to get to the next street.</p>
<p>            “Hawke?” She could hear his voice, and when she found him she was relieved.</p>
<p>            “Thank the, Maker, I thought something happened to you.” She coughed.</p>
<p>            “Why do you think that?”</p>
<p>            “Come on, we have to get back to the palace.” She pulled him along, watching over their shoulders as she went. City guards were running past them to head to the circle and the people were heading away from that district just in case the fire spread.</p>
<p>            “What’s going on, Hawke, what happened?”</p>
<p>            “Rylen thinks that someone set the fire. But what did your father say about those threats?”</p>
<p>            “I told you, he didn’t think there was any basis to it. They’re always receiving threats.”</p>
<p>            She stopped him, “What if this was only a distraction, Rabbie?”</p>
<p>            “No, that’s not going to happen, Hawke.”</p>
<p>            She gave him a pressing look, and she could practically see the panic creeping throughout his body. Rabbie ran up the granite pathway and she chased after him; there were no guards to be seen at their posts. She had a bad feeling creeping up her back again, and she stopped to be a bit more thorough in her search. She saw bodies of the guards nearby, and she bolted after Rabbie when he opened the doors.</p>
<p>            “Wait!” She tried to reach him, but he was already inside and running up the stairwell. She was on his heels, trying to keep up, but her lungs still felt tight from all the smoke. She was wheezing as they reached the next floor, but he wouldn’t stop. She followed after him down the hallway, but he stopped midway.</p>
<p>            When she caught up to him she saw what caught his gaze. Blood, a trail of it, and it led to the royal hall. He slowly made his way to the doors in a daze, and she felt sick to her stomach. One door was open wide, and he dropped to his knees at the sight inside.</p>
<p>            They were all there, every one of them lined up, soaked in their own blood. Their faces bore frightened expressions, and she felt like vomiting at the sight of Gavin’s children. He looked as though he tried fighting back, and she saw the body of what she thought to be a mercenary lying on the ground as well.</p>
<p>            “We have to go,” she whispered, pulling on his arm. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost, and he barely recognized her face.</p>
<p>            “Sebastian. I have to warn Sebastian.” He breathed. “What if they… What if they’ve already gotten him?”</p>
<p>            “Shh, we’ll tell him. But we have to get you out of here.” She pulled on him, quickly trying to make their escape. They had to find a guard, someone, but most importantly she had to keep him safe. Once they were out the doors they were heading down the granite path.</p>
<p>            She heard a noise, but it was too late, she felt the weight of him crash into her after the sickening thud of an arrow hit him. They fell to the ground and her heart sank. No. NO! She could barely breathe, but she grabbed him pulling him into an alleyway with her. She pulled out her sword and blocked an arrow with it, but she felt something crash into her, causing her sword to clatter to the ground.</p>
<p>            Hands were at her neck as someone pinned her down, and she clawed at the man’s face, using all her strength to buck them to their sides. She whipped her legs up around his arms and managed to kick him off, sucking in air when she was able to. Another arrow loosed but her leathers luckily caught it. She rolled back, trying to find her sword, but pulled out her knife instead when she felt hands at her ankles.</p>
<p>            Her boot connected to his face, sick crack as he crumpled to the ground. Another arrow flung by her head and she scrabbled to find where the archer was. She finally spotted him, hurriedly making her way to him, and he dropped his bow to pull out a knife. She wasn’t fast enough to dodge it, and he caught her along her cheekbone. She kicked at his legs, whipping them out from underneath him, but in her fatigue he managed to sink his knife into her hip as she plunged hers into his chest. She pulled it out, stumbling away, falling to the granite ground.</p>
<p>            “Rabbie?” She called, crawling her way back to the alley she’d left him in. He’d managed to sit himself up, but the color had drained from his face, the arrow still sticking out of his chest. She could hear the laboring of his breathing, the terrible sound it made each time he took a breath.</p>
<p>            “Hawke,” he croaked. “Please… Save my brother.”</p>
<p>            She squeezed her eyes shut as she pulled him to her chest. “I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>            “Sebastian… I’m sorry…” He wheezed, and it wasn’t long before his grip on her vest fell, his body relaxing, the pulse in his neck dead.</p>
<p>            She didn’t want to leave him like this, but she had to go. If she didn’t leave there was no telling what the city would try to accuse her of. She managed to get to her feet, limping her way past buildings. She had to get to the alienage, but she didn’t know how she’d manage in this state.</p>
<p>            She grunted as she fell to her knees, trying to find air to breathe into her lungs. She heard a gasp from behind her and she saw a young woman and man. “Are you alright?” She rushed over despite the man trying to tell her they should run.</p>
<p>            They were mages, she could tell by their garb. “Help me… Help me get to the alienage and I’ll get you some new clothes. He’s right, you should run, with any luck your phylacteries burned.”</p>
<p>            They looked to each other and the girl dropped to her knees beside her. “You promise you’ll help?”</p>
<p>            “Yes.”</p>
<p>            “Wait, I’ve seen her with the Knight Corporal! We can’t trust her.”</p>
<p>            “But Knight Corporal Rylen’s not a bad Templar.”</p>
<p>            “My sisters are mages, I would never… I would <em>never</em> give them up. I promise to help you, if you’ll help me.” The girl was already hovering her hands over her hip, and she felt the cooling stitching of her healing magic. Kahlan was good at this, and she remembered when she needed her sister’s touch after making it home from Ostagar.</p>
<p>            “That’s the best I think I can do.” She said, and Hawke already felt better than she did previously. She could still feel a sharp pain there, but she had to ignore it.</p>
<p>            “Thank you, follow me.”</p>
<p>            They were with her the entire way into the alienage. The people were frightened as they waited. They weren’t sure what else to do, but she already knew some of them were out there helping with the fire. Rain began to pour, and she thanked whatever powers that may be that it was helping them this night.</p>
<p>            “You need to be sure you’re ready for this. When you leave you can’t come back. You need to keep going and lay low.”</p>
<p>            The two of them nodded to each other. “We’re all each other has. We’re going.”</p>
<p>            She pulled out some clothes for them, a cloak for each, and a couple of knives. “I don’t know what else to do for you, but that’s all I have.”</p>
<p>            They thanked her, leaving her little house. She felt the ache in her hip, but she had to leave tonight. Come morning when they found the Vael family murdered, she didn’t know what they would say about her.</p>
<p>            She grabbed her pack and almost tripped as she tried to go, but she didn’t get very far when Marielle came upon her.</p>
<p>            “Bless the gods, Hawke, you’re okay!” She ran up to her, but stopped short. “Are you injured?”</p>
<p>            “No…” She grimaced. “Yes… They’re dead, Mari. The Vael family; all of them are dead.”</p>
<p>            “What?” She gasped, “N-no, what happened? What’s going on?”</p>
<p>            “I think the fire was set at the circle to distract the guards. I was with Rabbie and we went back to the palace. They were all dead. We tried to get out of there, but we were attacked. He’s… He’s dead too. It’s all my fault.” She squeezed her eyes shut, she was angry, couldn’t believe how weak she was. Her friend was dead, and it was all her fault. “I have to get out of here before they think it was me.”</p>
<p>            “No! You can’t leave like this or they <em>will</em> think it was you, Hawke! You have to go find your friends in the guard. Go tell them what happened! You have to do it now! We can’t have them sully your name!”</p>
<p>            She shook her head, “I don’t think it’ll matter.”</p>
<p>            “Let’s go, now!” Marielle ordered, and helped her along. Hawke didn’t fight her, deep down she knew she was right. She had to tell Finn. “I’m sure they’ll be at the circle.” The rain poured, and Mari kept her moving through it.</p>
<p>            Once they’d made it to the tower she could see the fire was put out, and the Templars were busy rounding up the mages. She saw some guards, and began asking where Finn was until one of them finally led her to him.</p>
<p>            “Finn, they’re dead,” she told him, rain pouring over their faces. She could barely see him and he pulled her underneath the roof of a nearby home.</p>
<p>            “What’re you talking about, who’s dead? Are you hurt? What happened?”</p>
<p>            “They murdered the Vael family. They’re all dead.”</p>
<p>            His eyes were wide when she said that. “You can’t be serious.”</p>
<p>            “I… I tried to save Rabbie, but they ambushed us. I killed two of them, but, Finn, they infiltrated the palace… They’re all dead.” She repeated again.</p>
<p>            He began to shout to his guards and they were gone down the streets. She was drained, felt as though she was going to pass out, but she tried to take deep, steadying breathes.</p>
<p>            “Hawke?” She looked up to see Rylen who was making his way towards her, the blood was mostly gone from him with the downpour. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”</p>
<p>            “Well… yes.” She nodded.</p>
<p>            “What happened.”</p>
<p>            “It’s my fault, Rylen. They’re dead.”</p>
<p>            “Who’s dead?” He eased closer to her.</p>
<p>            “Rabbie… His parents… All of them. They’re all dead.”</p>
<p>            He was in shock, shaking his head. “No that can’t be.”</p>
<p>            “It was a group of mercenaries or something of the sort… Rabbie and I found his family all dead, and… And we tried to get out of there… I tried to get him to safety but they ambushed us.” She was still in shock that he’d died in her arms. “I couldn’t save him.” Rylen’s hand was at her cheek, thumb settled underneath the fresh scar.</p>
<p>            “It’s not your fault, Noa. Noa! Listen to me, it’s not your fault.” She could hear him, but she was fading fast. The throb of pain at her hip was constant now. “Noa!” She heard him shout, heard Mari’s voice, but there wasn’t much else she could do when the black encroached on her vision.</p>
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